


From Amber To Ruby

by checkerboard



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex's POV, Danvarias, F/F, Recovery, Sam is Human, alcoholic!Alex, no Reign, rizzoli and isles - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-07-08 06:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15924473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/checkerboard/pseuds/checkerboard
Summary: Alex is dealing with her breakup from Maggie, drowning her sorrows at the bar, when she happens upon a Book Exchange, choosing a book and getting engrossed in it before Sam comes along and helps her on the road to recovery.





	1. Chapter 1

"Another please" came the drunken call from the end of the counter, followed by the bang of the whiskey glass hitting the bar. M'Gann rolled her eyes and walked to Alex.

 

"I think you've had enough, and if you keep hitting the bar like that, you'll smash one of those glasses and I'll charge you for it."

 

Alex snorted, "Fine."

 

"You should go home, Alex. Do you want me to call Kara?"

 

"No! What I want is another whiskey."

 

M'Gann shook her head, "Sorry Alex, but you've had way too much already. Drinking isn't the answer."

 

Alex glared at M'Gann. "Who made you my mother?"

 

M'Gann sighed. "Are you coming here every night incase she comes in?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Maggie, of course. She was the one who first brought you and your friends here. And since you've broken up you've been in here every night. It's what it looks like to me."

 

"I come here because people leave me alone, and the booze is cheap."

 

"Bartenders are usually a good outlet for figuring things out, you know. You can talk to me... if you want."

 

"Maybe another time" replied Alex. "I might as well call it a night if you won't serve me any more."

 

"You have to look after yourself, Alex."

 

"I know" answered Alex quietly.

 

M'Gann watched Alex for a few seconds, before she started wiping down the bar. Alex caught a glimpse of a book sticking out her apron. She pointed to it, "What's that?"

 

M'Gann looked to where Alex was pointing and pulled the book out, "I got it from the book exchange near the park. I've never really been a big reader but it's something to help me pass the time, and they have some good books down there. It's all donations. You put a book in, you take a book out." She looked at Alex, "Maybe you should try it, don't you pass it on your way home?"

 

Alex shrugged, "Never noticed."

 

"Maybe you should pay more attention, you might find something you like in there. Something to distract you from your thoughts for a little while. It works for me."

 

"I might just do that. Thanks, M'Gann."

 

Alex got up off her bar stool and left the bar. She pulled up the collar of her leather jacket and zipped it up, surprised at how cold it'd gotten outside.

 

 

When she got nearer to the park she paid more attention to her surroundings and noticed a red metal unit on this sidewalk near the park entrance. An amateur looking poster attached to it had "Book Exchange" scrawled in coloured pencil. She'd never paid much attention to it before and just thought it was some school project or something in the neighbourhood. But M'Gann was right; inside it housed lots of books. It seemed like they just trusted you to donate one and take one, returning it when you were finished.

 

Alex noted the names of some of the covers; there seemed to be a wide range of genres.

 

Reluctant to go back to her empty apartment, she scanned the books, stopping at one. _The Surgeon_ by Tess Gerritsen. The book as the UK edition, and on the cover was the back of a naked woman on a cold slab, her back looking unnatural somehow. _He knows exactly where it hurts…_ said the text. And underneath the author and book name, _Introducing Detective Jane Rizzoli_. Alex knew that name. She'd watched that show; the combination of medicine and crime appealing to her, but she’d never read any of the books it was based on. Now, here it was, right in front of her.

 

She read that this was the first of many books in the _Rizzoli and Isles_ series. She flicked through the pages, noticing someone had highlighted some sentences. She stopped at one highlight, _The most intimate feeling people can share is neither love nor hate, but pain_. Alex swallowed, glancing around her before returning to the book. Something made her want to read it, but she didn't have a book to replace it with.

 

Her mind started to fill with thoughts... Who had highlighted that sentence? Was someone else going through a breakup like she was? Did someone find solace in the pages of this book?

 

She walked to the nearby bench and sat down, surprised by the coldness of it.

 

As she opened the cover and began to read, she felt as though the pages were sobering her up somewhat, supplying a little comfort somehow, despite the darkness illustrated on it’s cover. She moved slightly on the bench, settling into it as she became engrossed in the words, in the world away from her own, away from her thoughts and her pain.

 

Despite the clear indication of death on the cover, Alex found herself lost inside the world of Boston Homicide and forgot her thoughts for a while, the book providing her with some sort of comfort within her sea of pain.

 

~~~

 

 

Alex was jolted from the book by someone talking to her.

 

"Excuse me, miss?"

 

Alex looked up when she became aware the lady was talking to her.

 

"Are you okay? You look like you've been crying, and you must be freezing. It's so chilly tonight. Can I call someone to take you home?"

 

Alex shook her head, wiping tears from her face that she never knew were there, noticing as she did so, how cold her hands were. She looked at the book and realised she'd read about 60 pages. She must have been sitting there for a while.

 

"Sorry" she muttered to the lady. "What time is it?"

 

The woman looked at her watch, "Almost midnight."

 

"Jesus" replied Alex, causing the lady to laugh and hold out a hand.

 

"I'm Sam" she greeted.

 

Alex took her hand and shook it, "Alex."

 

"Your hands are freezing, Alex. I have a blanket in my car which is parked just over there. Would you let me get it for you?"

 

She nodded and watched as Sam walked to her car. She looked down at the book, folding the corner of the page over before closing it. That was when it struck her that she’d not actually thought about Maggie all the time she was reading.

 

She was interrupted from her thoughts by the warmth of a blanket being wrapped around her and the movement of the wooden slats as Sam took a seat next to her. Her eyes were drawn to the closed book in Alex’s hands. She pointed to the cover. "So, how are you liking the book? It didn't make me cry when I read it."

 

Alex let out a small laugh. "I don't know where those came from. Well, I do, but I don't know what the book did to bring them."

 

"I haven't seen you around here before. Do you use the book exchange much?"

 

Alex put her book in her lap and pulled the blanket tighter around herself, the chill in her bones starting to diminish. "No. I didn't even know it was here. Someone told me about it tonight, and I guess I just got lost for a while."

 

"An escape from whoever made you cry?" Sam asked, softly, noticing as she did so, a slight change in Alex’s posture.

 

"What makes you assume I'm crying over someone?"  
  
"I don't know. I can usually read people pretty well and you look to me like you're hurting. I think you've maybe had a drink... or several going by the strong scent of bourbon I can smell when you talk..."

 

She was interrupted by Alex scoffing, but she dismissed it and carried on.

 

"So, you sat in the bar until they stopped serving you or it closed, found out about this place, and tried to forget the world you live in and replace it with another for a little while."

 

Alex let out a breath through her nose. "Wow. That's... concise."

 

"Am I close?"

 

"Scarily so" replied Alex.

 

"Would you like to talk about it? I'm a good listener."

 

Alex shook her head, "Not really. It's late. I should probably head home and have a warm shower."  
  
"That sounds like a good plan. Can I drive you home? Or can I call someone for you?"

 

"I can walk."

 

"No. I'm not gonna let you walk home. I want to make sure you get there."

 

"I'm perfectly capable of walking, Sam. And you don't even know me."

 

"You seem like a nice person, Alex. I'm just trying to help out. I couldn't sleep at night if I knew I'd left someone outside to stagger back home in the freezing cold."

 

Alex stood up from the bench and turned to face Sam, raising the book she was holding, "Look, Sam, I don't have a book to exchange for this, so I figured I couldn't take it away. I either could read a bit of it or put it back. And once I had read a few pages I was stuck. I didn't realise it'd be so addictive, and I lost track of time. That’s all that you see happening here."

 

Sam’s eyes glinted in the street lights as she looked up at Alex. "How about we do a deal? I brought a book here tonight to exchange for something else. So, let’s say that book was an exchange for your one, and you can take Rizzoli home, where it's warmer. How does that sound?"

 

"It sounds unfair, because you don't get a book out of it."

 

Sam shrugged, "It's okay. I couldn't sleep so I ended up reading and I finished the whole thing. I think you could use a book more than me tonight." She stood up. "I'm driving you home. I won't take no for an answer."

 

"You're bossy, do you know that?"

 

"Oh yeah. It's one of my many qualities. Plus, you still have my blanket."

 

Alex shrugged the blanket off her shoulders and held it out, "Do you want it back right now?"

 

Sam chuckled, "Of course not, I want you to wrap yourself in it until you’re warm."

 

They walked to Sam's car and Alex got into the passenger side.

 

"Okay, where do you stay?"

 

Alex told Sam the address and looked out the window during the whole drive. However, as Sam parked the car Alex felt a shift in herself. She didn’t know if it was because of the drink, or because Sam seemed like someone she could talk to, but Alex suddenly felt the need to share a bit of her pain with someone. And it seemed like right now, Sam was that person.

 

 

"Her name was Maggie."

 

She’d spoken softly, almost to herself, just as Sam was pulling the car key out of the ignition.

 

Sam looked over, her face portraying a slight surprise at Alex’s sentence. "Ah, so you WERE crying over someone. I knew it." She smiled this small smile that just seemed to make her eyes shine and Alex couldn't prevent herself from smiling back. It was in the moment that Sam stepped out of the car and closed her door that Alex realised she was beautiful.

 

"What happened?" she asked, after she’d walked round the car and opened the passenger door for Alex.

 

Alex froze momentarily, letting go of her previous thought and returning herself to the present. "I wanted kids."

 

"And Maggie didn't?" asked Sam.

 

Alex shook her head sadly. They walked in silence into the building and into the elevator.

 

"I loved her so much. And now there's just this empty space… and an empty apartment."

 

The lift door opened onto Alex's floor, and Alex walked over to her door. "This is me" she announced, folding up the blanket and handing it back to Sam. "Thanks for the lift."

 

"No problem, but I want to make sure you get in safe."

 

"My door is right here" explained Alex, pointing to her door.

 

"I know. But you need to drink some water, and I don't know if you will do that if I leave."

 

Alex sighed, "You're a hard person to get rid of."

 

"I won't stay long, I need to get back to my daughter" explained Sam.

 

Alex's eyes widened, "You have a daughter?"

  
Sam nodded, "Yep. Ruby. It's just me and her."

 

"Sorry" said Alex.

 

"Don't be. She's my world" replied Sam, walking over to the kitchen and trying the cupboard doors to find a large glass before filling it up with water, and taking it over to Alex who was now sitting on her couch.

 

"Drink this" ordered Sam, handing her the glass before sitting on the table in front of Alex.

 

"Make yourself at home, why don’t you" stated Alex.

 

Sam huffed, "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers."

 

Alex shook her head and took a sip of her water.

 

"I hate feeling like this" she said after a few minutes.

 

Sam focused on Alex but stayed quiet to see if she would say more. She was wary of the fact that Alex wasn’t looking at her, she was looking elsewhere, and Sam was sure only part of her was truly here, the rest was lost in her thoughts. It was best, she thought, to let Alex talk without interruptions.

 

"She was everything to me. We were going to get married. But we wanted different things. What I felt for her, I've never felt that before. I don't know how to move on from this."

 

Sam reached out a hand and placed it on Alex's knee, causing Alex’s eyes to look there, before she looked at her glass of water and re-entered her thought space.

 

"She made me be true to myself, and now there's just this hole."

 

"It'll get easier" said Sam.

 

"How?" asked Alex, finally looking at Sam. "When?"

 

"It just does. Eventually."

 

 

Alex nodded, before looking away and sitting in silence.

 

She spoke quietly. "Thanks for bringing me home. I'll get another book for the exchange."

 

Sam nodded, realising the conversation was over. Alex had shared all she was willing to. "Okay. It's a good book, that one" she said, standing from the desk.

 

"Did you highlight it?" Alex blurted out, looking up at Sam.

 

Sam shook her head, just as Alex let out a yawn.

 

"I think someone needs some sleep, and that hot shower you mentioned. I'll get home to Ruby. Take care, Alex. Maybe I’ll see you around."

 

Alex nodded, before Sam got up and let herself out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to gabriellemalkav87 for coming up with the idea of Alex liking "Rizzoli and Isles". I had a story in mind for ages but couldn't think what Alex might read. So that gave me the chance to get it off the ground, then it went on it's own path.


	2. Chapter 2

True to her word, Alex had looked through the books she had at home to see what she could donate to the book exchange. She decided on a book she had purchased a while back but never got around to reading.

 

A few nights later, she walked to the book exchange with the book, stopping in her tracks as she noticed a familiar car parked a little up the street, with a young girl sat on the passenger seat.

 

 

"Alex?"

 

She turned to find Sam stepping onto the sidewalk behind her.

 

"Hi" said Alex in surprise, holding up the book. "I brought a book like I promised."

 

Sam smiled, and walked over, taking the book from Alex. " _The Firemaker_ , by Peter May." She raised an eyebrow. "Have you read it?"

 

"No, but it’s been on my book shelf for a while. I’d like to read it, so I figure if I donate it maybe I’ll be tempted to read it if I see it in the exchange later. Who knows, maybe someone will end up highlighting sections of it, that seems to be a thing if the book I’m reading is anything to go by."

 

Sam nodded, and looked at the back cover. "Hmm."

 

Alex looked nervous for a second, "Hmm? What's wrong with it?"

 

Sam shook her head, "No, no, it's fine. I just noticed it's another murder mystery. I'm thinking we don't want too much darkness in the book exchange. But it's fine, there are other books that even it out."

 

Alex gave a hesitant half-smile, which caused Sam to reach a hand out and touch Alex's arm reassuringly, "It's fine, Alex. It looks like a good book. Thank you for bringing it."

 

Alex nodded, and looked down at Sam's hand, before Sam swiftly removed it.

 

"How's the _Rizzoli and Isles_ book going?"

 

Alex’s eyes lit up, "I had no idea how good the books would be. It's weird how different they are from the show, but at the same time it just works. It's an amazing read so far."

 

Sam nodded. "I've read a few of the _Rizzoli and Isles_ ones, she's a great writer."

 

Alex looked around, not sure what to say.

 

Sam broke the silence. "You know, I read once a quote about books that stuck in my mind. I can't remember who said it, but the quote was: Books are mirrors: you only see in them what you already have inside you."

 

"So, what does that mean? We're all homicide detectives?"

 

Sam laughed, "I'm not sure. But it sounds good. What I take from it is the belief that we get so engrossed in books because parts of ourselves... we can see that in the characters, and we feel less alone. We're surprised to see people share our thoughts, our feelings, our pain."

 

Alex nodded. "Maybe."

 

 

"How've you been?" asked Sam.

 

"I'm doing okay, I guess. The book's helping take my mind off Maggie for a little while each night."

 

Sam gave Alex a small smile, "See. It'll get easier."

 

Alex pointed to the car, "Is that your daughter waiting on you?"

 

Sam looked over and waved at her daughter who was watching the exchange via the side mirror. "Yeah, that's Ruby."

 

Alex observed the girl, "She's older than I imagined. Is she a good kid?"

 

"I was only 16 when I had her. But she's the best thing I ever did" replied Sam, smiling that infectious smile again that always reached her eyes and made Alex smile back.

 

"Well, I don't want to keep you" explained Alex.

 

"Where were you headed?" asked Sam.

 

"Oh" replied Alex, looking down and playing with her sleeve. "Nowhere really."

 

Sam narrowed her eyes, "The bar?"

 

Alex raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?" she asked, irritation evident in her voice.

 

"I'm sorry. That came out wrong" replied Sam, her eyes momentarily flicking to Ruby.

 

"Where do you get off? You don't know me, Sam. You don't get to do that."

 

"Alex, honestly, I'm sorry" said Sam, before her phone interrupted the conversation. She held one finger up to Alex to tell her to wait and pressed the accept call button. "Lena? Can I call you back in two minutes?" She nodded and ended the call.

 

Alex’s stance softened slightly, "Lena? Lena Luthor?"

 

Sam nodded.

 

"How do you know Lena Luthor?" asked Alex, anger still visible on her face.

 

"She's my best friend. Is that a problem?" asked Sam.

 

Alex shook her head, "No. She's friends with my sister."

 

Sam looked confused, "Who's your sister?"

 

Alex scoffed, "Not that it's any of your business."

 

Sam swallowed, "Of course not. Nothing's my business apparently. She held up the book, "Thanks for this. I'll put it back once I’ve read it. Maybe if I see you around I'll let you know what I thought?"

 

"That's it?" replied Alex.

 

"That's it. I'm done with this. My daughter's waiting" replied Sam before walking past Alex and towards her car.

 

Alex stood on the sidewalk, a crease on her forehead as she tried to figure out what had just happened.

 

Her anger stopped her going to the bar, which if she was honest with herself was where she was headed, and that’s why Sam’s words had stung so much.

 

Instead she decided to return home, read some more of the book, and have a cup of tea.

 

 

Alex found herself being distracted from the book every now and again, her eyes drawn to the bottle of bourbon she had sitting on top of her drink’s cabinet. She got up and made another tea, but she felt the pull of the alcohol in the pit of her stomach. She craved it. She knew the warmth of the liquid would help her unwind, stop the distractions. But she also still had Sam’s words swirling in her mind. _To the bar?_

 

Alex didn’t know exactly what made her react the way she did. It was a combination of how little Sam knew her but at the same time how well she seemed to know her. Alex had always thought she was managing, that she was brave enough. All the times she had thought she wasn’t enough, the amber liquid running down her throat and warming her body made her feel like she could be. She thought back to the other times her drinking had been raised... by Kara, by her mother, by Maggie. She knew they were right. But she buried it down low, like she was used to doing. She locked her issues away, put others first. She’d always done that. Others first, Alex last. She didn’t want to admit that she was weak, that she had another flaw. She was supposed to be the protector, not the one to need protection.

 

But then her thoughts returned to Maggie. She thought of Maggie breaking through to her, forcing other feelings into the open. A secret that, like the alcoholism, she buried down for years, not wanting to be a disappointment, not wanting to put herself first. She thought of her happiness afterwards, how nothing came crashing down like she thought it would. How it was okay to be different, to express feelings to people. Maybe she didn't have to lock this one down either.

 

Before she knew it, she'd gave into the urge, poured a glass and was sitting in tears on her couch, alone.

 

Disappointment filled her veins along with the warmth of the bourbon. Disappointment that she was not perfect, that the strong woman she projected to the world had cracks, that she was broken. But she wouldn't show that to many people. She couldn't.

 

After a while, exhaustion took over her, and she lay down on the couch and slept.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Things at the D.E.O had been quite busy since she'd broke up with Maggie. Alex welcomed the distraction, but it did mean that she didn't have the same time to talk to Kara as she always had to dash one place or another as Supergirl. They also hadn't been having the same catch-ups at night because after work everyone had been so exhausted most days. Kara had found her a few times at the bar, but they hadn’t truly talked. If she was honest, Alex had been pushing her away.

 

After her confrontation with Sam regarding her drinking, Alex had stopped going to the bar, and instead she had been reading at nights in an attempt to avoid feeling the emptiness in the apartment. She got lost in the world of _Rizzoli and Isles_ , hardly moving until tiredness forced her to give up and go to bed. Tonight she was approaching the end of the book, and as things escalated she’d ended up pouring a glass of red wine. Alex was almost at the end of the book when she heard a familiar knock at her door.

 

After marking her position in the book with the piece of paper that she was using as a bookmark, Alex put the book down and walked to the door, opening it to find Kara on the other side.

 

"Hi!" greeted Kara.

 

Alex frowned, "What’s wrong?"

 

Kara frowned, giving Alex a quick light punch to the arm and walking into her apartment. "What way is that to greet your sister."

 

Alex closed her apartment door. "It's late. And you're too cheerful."

 

Kara plopped down on the couch, observing the glass of red wine on Alex's coffee table as she did so.

 

"How are you doing?" she asked, looking up at Alex who was still standing.

 

Alex fidgeted with her sleeve as she tried to figure out how to answer that question, before sitting down on the couch next to Kara.

 

"Come on, Alex. Talk to me. I've hardly seen you since things ended with Maggie. I'm sorry I’ve not been around. How are you, honestly?"

 

"Honestly, I'm not doing too good."

 

Kara reached out and held Alex's hand. "Let me help you. Don't bottle up your feelings, Alex. Talk to me. I'm here for you. All of us are."  
  
"Then why am I alone most nights?"

 

"Alex..."

 

Alex shook her head, the pained expression on Kara’s face causing her to feel guilty.

 

"You know how busy I’ve been. I've sent you texts. I've called. You've been ignoring me. Don't try to put blame on me. That's not fair."

 

Alex sighed and lifted the wine glass up, taking a drink. "I don’t know what I’m doing, Kara."

 

Kara rubbed Alex's back. "You’re the strongest person I know, Alex. I know you're hurting, and I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it’ll get easier. It just takes time."

 

Alex looked at Kara, who pulled her into a hug and took the wine glass from her, placing it on the table.

 

Being held in Kara’s arms gave Alex the security to be vulnerable, and she talked about Maggie.

 

"She's the first person I truly loved, Kara. We were good together, we were great together, and I didn't know I could be that happy. I didn't know I had it in me to do that. To be happy. To have a relationship like that. And I was the reason we broke up. I did that. What we had was amazing. I chose to let her go. I chose that. I mean, what was I thinking?"

 

"Maggie was a massive part of your life. She taught you how to be true to yourself. And if you want kids and she doesn't, then letting her go so you can find someone who you can accomplish that with, that's being true to yourself. Maggie understood that. She knew you had to achieve what you wanted, and you couldn't do that with her. As much as that killed you both, it was the right thing."

 

"What if I was wrong?"

 

"Have you decided now that you don't want to be a mother?"

 

"I wanna be a mother. It's the one thing I’m sure of."

 

"Then it sounds to me that you made the right decision. Would you have liked to stay with Maggie but know that she never wanted to be a parent? To know that part of your dreams might not happen. And for her to know that you desperately wanted something that she didn't? How would that have worked out?"

 

Alex swallowed, "It doesn't make it any easier."

 

"I know. But If I learned anything from Mon-El it's that... when it feels raw like this, talking to people is what gets you through. Not sitting alone or in bars drinking your sorrows and trying to numb the thoughts. Because if you don't deal with them, how can you get through this?"

 

"You don't sit alone in bars, Kara. That sounds more like me."

 

"Because it IS you. I’ve found you at that bar. And I see that wine glass. I know you, Alex. I'm just trying to explain. At the time, all I wanted was to be alone, and I was mean to you when you tried to help me, but it was what I needed. And you never gave up. You got through to me and it helped."

 

Alex nodded. "I know you're right but sitting in this empty apartment without her. It hurts. Drink takes the edge off when I’m alone, but I’m only having this because it was open. I've been avoiding the bar. I’ve been drinking tea, and I've been reading. I kinda talked a bit to M'Gann, and she told me about this book exchange. And I met this woman, Sam."

 

"What?" asked Kara, separating from Alex to look at her. Shock evident in her voice. "What woman?"

 

Alex looked at Kara, "No! Not like that. I was at the book exchange and I didn’t have a book to swap for the one I wanted, so I sat on a bench and got so lost in the book I’d sat there for hours. Sam interrupted me and insisted that she take me home. When we got there, we talked a little, and that helped. But then she kinda pissed me off last time we met, and she probably hates me now. Actually, maybe you know her, she's friends with Lena."

 

"Sam Arias?"

 

Alex shook her head, and unconsciously lifted the wine glass, taking a sip. "No idea."

 

Kara described Sam and mentioned she had a daughter named Ruby. "That's her. She had a go at me, assumed I was some kind of alcoholic. I mean, who has the right to make assumptions about people they just met?"

 

Kara frowned, "I don't know her that well, but she seemed okay the few times we've talked. And no offence Alex, but you do like alcohol a bit too much."

 

Alex looked down at the wine glass and swallowed. "I know. I'm trying, Kara. I'm really trying, but she was a stranger and it hurt for her to just make those assumptions about me." She placed the wine glass down and spoke quietly, "I just miss Maggie. So much."

 

Kara pulled Alex into a tight hug, "I know you do. And it’s wonderful that you’re trying to drink less. There are groups out there to help you, Alex. If you wanted to go to one I could come with you?"

 

Alex shook her head, "No. No. I'm not an alcoholic Kara. I just like a few drinks at night. It’s not all the time, just when life gets... hard."

 

Kara frowned. She let it go through because she knew her sister. And she knew not to push. She knew that sometimes, small steps won in the end.

 

~~~

 

"Do you want me to talk to Sam?"

 

"What? No!"

 

“Okay.” Kara broke their hug to lean forward and lift the book from the coffee table, reading the back of it. "Ah, _Rizzoli and Isles_. You used to watch that. You had a crush on Jane."

 

"I did not!"

 

"Yeah, you did."

 

Alex frowned, mulling over the suggestion. "I liked her character. And I liked Maura too. Law and medicine. What's not to like?" She looked over at Kara, who was wearing an expression that clearly suggested she didn’t believe it. Alex thought back to watching the show…

 

"Okay. She WAS pretty hot. And that voice" confirmed Alex, when realisation dawned on her.

 

"Ha!" laughed Kara. "I told you!"

 

Alex picked up a pillow and smacked Kara with it. "Well, I don't know how you knew that when I just figured it out."

 

Kara laughed. "You’re so smart, Alex, but sometimes you just don’t see things that are obvious to others. Mostly when it’s to do with you."

 

Alex scrunched up her face and played with her sleeves again.

 

Kara reached over and placed a hand on Alex’s knee. "Is it a good book?"

 

"Fabulous."

 

"I'm glad reading has been helping you. And you've really been talking to people?"

 

Alex nodded.

 

"You know I'm here too, right? I love you, Alex. And even if I’m busy, I'll still have time for you."

 

"Always" replied Alex.

 

~~~

 

"What are you doing on Friday night?"

 

"Nothing."

 

"Then come over. Lena and I were going to have a movie night. Would you join us?"

 

"I would be intruding."

 

"No. I'm asking you to join us. Please. It might take your mind off things for an hour or two."

 

"Just you and Lena, and me?"

 

Kara nodded. "As far as I know."

 

Alex thought about it. "Okay."

 

Kara put an arm around Alex and pulled her into another hug. They sat like that for a while, happy in each other’s company.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Having finished the _Rizzoli and Isles_ book, Alex walked to the book exchange to see what else she could read.

 

After placing the book on the shelf, she browsed through the offerings trying to find a new book that peaked her interest. She pulled out a book before being interrupted by a girl, leaning in front of her to squeeze a book into the shelf below.

 

Alex looked down at the interruption only to find the girl looking up at her.

 

"Hi" she said, before returning her interest to the books for younger readers, looking through them.

 

"Hi" replied Alex, trying to figure out why the girl looked familiar. She had long brown hair and a cheeky smile.

 

The girl let out a sigh.

 

"What's up, kiddo?"

 

"I always have trouble picking one."

 

Alex returned the book she was currently holding to the shelf and leaned down, browsing the titles on the shelf below, before she pulled one out, and handed it to the kid.

 

The girl looked at it. " _Charlie and the chocolate factory_. But that's for kids."

 

Alex stood up and shook her head, "Nobody's too old for Roald Dahl."

 

The girl frowned.

 

"Do you watch much TV?" asked Alex.

 

"Mom doesn't let me watch too much."

 

Alex nodded, and crouched down to the level of the kid, "Do you know... that book was written in the sixties and he knew what was coming."

 

The girl watched with curiosity, as Alex threw her arms out and spoke in a playful tone. " _So please, oh please, we beg, we pray. Go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install... a lovely bookshelf on the wall_."

 

The girl laughed and looked a little confused, "You're crazy."

 

Alex smiled, "No, I’m not. That's what he says in that book. Trust me, you should read it."

 

The girl nodded, "Thanks... I'm Ruby."

 

Alex's eyes widened as she realised why the girl looked familiar. This was Sam's daughter. Which meant Sam must be somewhere nearby. Alex looked briefly around but couldn't see her.

 

"I'm Alex."

 

"My mom knows you" stated Ruby.

 

Alex nodded, "I guess. Is she with you?"

 

Ruby nodded, "She was just getting something from the shop across the street." She turned to point to the shop and they both watched as Sam left the shop, looking in both directions before running across the road and walking to them.

 

"Come on, Ruby. Are you ready to go?"

 

"Mom, Alex helped me pick a book. Don't you want to talk to her?"

 

Sam glanced at Alex. "It depends whether she wants to talk."

 

Ruby looked confused at her mother’s hostility and glanced at Alex.

 

"I was just bringing the book back. I finished it" she explained.

 

Sam nodded. "How was it?"

 

"There was no Maura. I've read the whole book and no Maura. I feel cheated."

 

Sam couldn't stop a laugh from escaping, instantly softening her demeanour. "The cover did only mention Jane. There was a clue there."

 

Alex made a face. "You can't have Jane without Maura. It's not right."

 

Sam nodded, "Are you choosing another book?"

 

"I haven't picked one yet."

 

"Listen, Alex. I'm sorry about what I said to you. I made assumptions. I judged you. I had no right to do that."

 

Alex shook her head, "It's okay. I'm sorry for the way I reacted. It wasn't cool. I wasn't in the best headspace, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

 

Sam nodded.

 

"Mom, maybe Alex can keep you company when I’m at Katie's?"

 

"I don't think so, baby" replied Sam, looking down at her daughter.

 

Ruby looked to Alex, "We're going to have dinner and a sleepover. Katie's parents are letting us have pizza."

 

Alex nodded, and smiled at the girl. "Have a good time."

 

Ruby nodded.

 

Sam sighed, "It's just a few blocks away so I'm walking her there. Then I’m going to grab some food and head home. We better get going. Goodnight, Alex."

 

Alex pursed her lips in thought, "You know, Sam, once I pick a book, I was gonna get takeout and take it home. If you wanted, you could join me for dinner once you drop Ruby off?"

 

Sam frowned, "Oh, you don't need to keep me company. Ignore Ruby here, she's just causing trouble."

 

"Mom, if I’m going to a friends to have fun you should too. Alex is your friend, right?"

 

Sam looked at Alex. "I don't know."

 

Alex sighed, "Sam... I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't want to. There's some things maybe we need to talk about?"

 

Sam reluctantly accepted the invitation, and they arranged that Alex would pick out a book and Sam would take Ruby to her friends and return to the book exchange before they headed to dinner.

 

~~~

 

Alex had picked up book after book, reading one or two paragraphs before deciding she didn’t like it. So far nothing had peaked her interest at all.

 

She was startled when a hand touched her shoulder, and swiftly turned around before relaxing when her eyes met with Sam's.

 

"Sorry, shouldn't've done that."

 

"It's fine" replied Alex, gesturing to the book exchange, "I don't think there's anything here I want."

 

Sam frowned, "Nothing at all?"

 

"I don't think so" replied Alex. "Maybe it's the worlds way of telling me I have to try dealing with the empty apartment instead of trying to ignore it."

 

Sam raised her eyebrows. "Sounds like you're coping better?"

 

"Getting there" replied Alex.

 

Sam gave her a small smile. "I'm glad."

 

Alex returned the smile, "Listen, I was going to just grab a pizza and some beer and head back home. But we can go somewhere to eat if you want?"

 

"I'm not too fussed really. Pizza and beer sound okay to me. If you don't mind me coming to your house?"

 

"Not at all. Will you be counting the beer I drink?"

 

Sam laughed, causing Alex to smile. "No."

 

"Promise?" asked Alex.

 

"Promise" replied Sam. "But is there seriously no book at all that you're into?"

 

"Sam, I've been looking for ages. If there was something, I'd have found it. I guess all the good books are taken."

 

Sam sighed, "Sorry. It's usually decent."

 

Alex shook her head, "It's not your fault. I can buy one out the book store, or I’m sure I have something at home if I look around... Let's go get some food?"

 

Sam nodded, giving Alex a kind smile.

 

 

They walked across the street to the takeaway and browsed the pizza menu, ordering one each. While waiting for them to cook, Sam stayed at the takeaway whilst Alex nipped to the supermarket a few doors down to buy a six pack of beer. When she returned, the pizzas were being taken out the oven. She paid the bill and carried the pizzas in her spare hand, declining Sam’s offer of assistance, before she and Sam began walking to her apartment.

 

"So, Sam Arias. You know all about me, but I know nothing about you."

 

Sam looked surprised, "How do you know my surname?"

 

Alex grinned, "Ah... I have my sources."

 

"Your sister?"

 

Alex nodded. "Tell me about yourself."

 

"There's not a lot to tell. I'm a single mother. I work at L-Corp. I like to read."

 

"Oh, there's more to you than that, I’m sure of it."

 

Sam gave Alex a strange look.

 

"Okay. Let’s start with the easy stuff" suggested Alex, "How did you meet Lena?"

 

"I worked at LuthorCorp as a Junior V.P. Lena caught me working at 3am one morning and I think she was impressed, because I moved up the ladder a little and when L-Corp was unveiled, and when she bought CatCo, she made me acting C.E.O."

 

"Impressive. So, you guys have known each other for a long time?"

 

Sam nodded, as they approached the entrance to Alex's building.

 

"Right, I can't hold pizza and beer, and open the door. The keys are in my back pocket" said Alex, before she turned around and raised her eyebrows.

 

Sam looked slightly uncomfortable but reached into Alex's back pocket to fetch the keys. She opened the door and they walked to the elevator.

 

"Ruby seems like a really sweet kid" observed Alex as the doors of the elevator opened and they walked in.

 

Sam smiled, "Thanks. I don't think I messed her up too much."

 

Alex laughed, "If I get to be a mom, I hope mine grows up to be just like her."

 

Sam smiled, and her eyes lit up, before the elevator opened onto Alex's floor.

 

When they reached the apartment door, Alex pointed out which key Sam needed to unlock it.

 

Once inside, Alex walked to the kitchen counter and put down the pizzas and beer.

 

"Shall we heat them up or is it okay if they're a little cold?"

 

"I'm cool either way. The way they are is fine."

 

"Awesome" replied Alex, flipping the lids off the pizza boxes and opening a couple of beers.

  
She handed one to Sam. "You do drink, don't you?"

 

"Yeah. In moderation."

 

Alex raised an eyebrow, and they both sat at the kitchen counter and began eating the pizza.

 

After they ate the first slice in silence and started on the second, Alex spoke.

 

"I hope I’m not out of line by asking this, Sam. Did Ruby's father have a problem with alcohol?"

 

Sam frowned, "What?"

 

"I don't know. It's just. The way you immediately thought I was going to the bar that night, like if someone gets drunk one night, they must be getting drunk every night. I thought maybe someone you knew had some issues, and maybe that's why Ruby's father isn't in the picture."

 

Sam shook her head. "Ruby's father has never been in the picture. I didn't realise we'd be getting into the heavy conversations so soon. I've only had a couple of slices of pizza and you want me to bare my wounds?"

 

Alex took a swig of beer, "Sorry. Forget I asked. It was out of line."

 

"No no, I... you're right. Sort of." Sam sighed. "I had a friend from night school. Susan. She got out of a relationship... it was a toxic one, but she took it badly. She ended up spending time in bars. Hours in bars. Each night."

 

Alex nodded.

 

"Each evening after I put Ruby to sleep, I’d go to the bar to check on her because she had nobody else. Each night I would find her there. She'd promise me she'd only had a couple, she’d say she was just leaving to go home. She'd tell me there wasn't a problem, she had it under control, she could stop at any time, and that she would."

 

Alex reached across the counter and put a hand on Sam's arm briefly. "You don't need to tell me."

 

Sam looked at Alex, "Stupidly I believed her."

After a pause, she spoke again. "I'm fine, Sam. Stop fussing."

Seeing Alex’s frown, she continued "Those are the last words she ever spoke to me."

 

Alex’s eyes widened in surprise.

 

"One night, she went back home after I left her at the bar, and she decided to chase the alcohol with pills."

 

"Sam, I'm so sorry."

 

"She died, Alex. And I've always wondered... what if I hadn't believed her? What if I’d tried harder to get her to stop? What if I could have done something? So, when I saw you sitting on that cold bench, almost out of it, freezing cold, and I smelt whiskey on your breath it transported me back to Susan, and I thought, I can't let this woman make the same mistakes Susan did. I can't allow it. I need to let her know that drinking is not the way out."

 

Alex reached out her hand again, but this time Sam took it in her own.

 

"I know you're not Susan. And I know I was wrong to assume."

 

"Well, for what it's worth, thank you. Thank you for interrupting me that night and for taking me home. I opened up to you a bit that night. I hadn't managed to speak to Kara much. And I think it was what I needed, at the right time. And yes… I drink. When I was younger I think… I know... I depended on it too much. I thought I was better now. But I've started thinking maybe that's not true. But I'm working on it. You don't have to worry about me."

 

They both took another slice of pizza and Alex went to open two more beers but paused. "Actually, what about a cup of tea?"

 

Sam smiled. "Tea sounds fantastic."

 

Alex smiled and put the kettle on.

 

"You mentioned a Kara. Is that your sister?"

 

Alex smiled, "Oops. My secret's out."

 

"Kara... Danvers?"

 

"You know her, then?"

 

"We've met a few times, yeah. She seems really nice."

 

"She is" replied Alex.

 

"So, you're Alex Danvers" replied Sam.

 

Alex raised her eyebrows, "Does my reputation precede me?"

 

"I think Lena may have mentioned you, actually."

 

"Oh no. Good or bad?"

 

Sam grinned, "Oh, I won't tell."

 

"Well, that's just mean" replied Alex with a smile.

 

"I'm actually going to a movie night with them both soon."

 

"What?" said Alex, startled.

 

Sam looked at her quizzically, "Lena and Kara. The look on your face tells me you're unhappy. What's going on?"

 

"No. Just surprised. Kara invited me to a movie night soon. On Friday. She said it was just her, Lena, and me. I wonder if it's the same one."  


"Is that going to be an issue?" asked Sam.

 

"No, of course not. It's just a surprise, that's all."

 

"I think it's at Kara's?"

 

Alex nodded. "Yeah. Who's going to look after Ruby?"

 

"She's coming too."

 

"Oh. It's quite the little gathering then. Kinda makes me feel less like I’m intruding if you're there too."

 

Sam smiled, "Ditto."

 

They finished the pizza and Alex cleared up, before they moved to the couch.

 

~~~

 

"So, I told you I worked at L-Corp but what about you. What does Alex Danvers do?"

 

"Oh. Well, bio-engineering is my passion. But I’m more often out in the field for the F.B.I."

 

"You work for the F.B.I.?" asked Sam, awe in her voice.

 

"Yep."

 

"Do you use weapons and stuff? Are you a trained fighter? Isn't it dangerous?"

 

Alex looked at Sam, "Yes, Yes and Yes."

 

"You're like a real-life action hero."

 

Alex laughed.

 

"Where does bio-engineering come in?"

 

"Well, uh, before the F.B.I., I was gonna be a researcher, so I had a job, actually, as a doctor, up in Seattle for a while. And then, as it turns out, I needed a little more action than just a microscope and an Excel spreadsheet. So, I trained for the F.B.I. for a year before they let me out in the field. But I do medical tests and get my science fix on the side. It's a pretty sweet job actually."

 

"Have you ever been shot?" asked Sam.

 

"I've never been shot, no. But I’ve come close. And I’ve been injured. Many times."

 

"And it doesn't bother you?"

 

"So far I’ve been alright."

 

"You're a total badass, Alex" said Sam, grinning. "Ruby would be so excited. She loves superheroes."

 

"I'm not a superhero, Sam."

 

"I kinda think you are."

 

Sam's eyes flitted around the apartment, taking in the details when she noticed a motorbike helmet sitting near the door.

 

"You ride a motorcycle?" she asked.

 

"Guilty" replied Alex.

 

"So, you're a badass AND a sexy biker?"

 

Alex chuckled.

 

"I would never ride a motorcycle. They're too dangerous" stated Sam.

 

"They're pretty safe if you pay attention. No riskier than a car" replied Alex.

 

Sam looked at her sceptically.

 

"Maybe you can ride with me one day? See what you think of it?"

 

"I don't think so, Alex."

 

"You would be safe with me, Sam."

 

Sam sighed, "What, clinging onto your back like a koala bear?"

 

Alex smiled, "I'm afraid so. Does that seem like such a horrible thing?"

 

Sam shook her head, "No. I just, I have Ruby to think about."

 

"It's a motorbike ride, Sam. That's all. The option is there, think about it."

 

Sam didn't reply so Alex changed the subject.

 

"Tell me about Ruby. It must have been terrifying becoming a mother so young?"

 

"It wasn’t easy. I got pregnant when I was 16. He didn't want anything to do with it. I got kicked out of the house. I thought I'd hit rock bottom. But then, when the nurse handed her to me in the hospital, and she wrapped her tiny hand around my finger, I just stared at her in awe. And I swore that I would always protect her, no matter what... we had each other and that was enough. She gave me a reason to stay strong. To go on fighting."

 

"Wow" replied Alex. "You kinda sound like a badass too."

 

Sam laughed, making Alex smile.

 

"How do you balance work and motherhood?" asked Alex.

 

"I think I fail more than I pass, especially at the start of the L-Corp job. I just wasn't there enough for her. I was working long hours, I didn't have time for her… that was horrible. But I think now we do okay. I have Lena, she helps me out sometimes, and Ruby goes to some after school clubs to give me more time before she's home. We work it out."

 

"Well like I said, from what I’ve seen of Ruby, I think you've done a terrific job."

 

Sam grinned, "Thank you. I think you're going to be an amazing mother too, Alex. When I saw you with her at the book exchange, I could tell you're a natural with kids."

 

Alex looked downwards. "Yeah. Well, if I’m a single mom I hope I do half as well as you."

 

Sam frowned, "You'll find someone, Alex. You'll have all the things. I'm sure of it."

 

Alex looked at her, "I wish I had your confidence."

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Alex knocked on Kara's apartment door and it opened quickly, a smiling Kara behind it.

 

"Alex!"

 

She walked into the apartment and noticed everyone else was already there.

 

"Lena invited Sam and Ruby, I hope you don't mind."

 

Alex shook her head, "Not at all."

 

Ruby looked over, "Hi, Alex!"

 

"Hey, kiddo."

 

Kara looked at Alex, surprised. "Well, she seems to like you. I thought you only met Sam?"

 

Alex shook her head, "I met Ruby the other day, at the book exchange and sorted things out with Sam. Ruby was going to a sleepover so Sam and I had dinner, she's actually pretty awesome. And Ruby's a sweet kid."

 

Kara smiled widely. "It's so weird that you and Sam met each other, and it turned out I knew her too."

 

Alex nodded, taking off her jacket and giving it to Kara. "Sam actually told me she'd been invited before you did."

 

"I'm sorry I didn't text to tell you" apologised Kara, as she hung Alex's jacket on the coat rack.

 

Alex shrugged, before walking further into the apartment, to the couches where everyone was gathered.

 

"Hi, Lena. Sam."

 

"Hi. How are you, Alex?" asked Lena.

 

"I'm doing okay."

 

"Hi, Alex" said Sam.

 

"Hey, Sam."

 

"How do you guys know each other? Sam said you'd met at the book exchange?" Lena enquired.

 

Alex nodded, "Yep."

 

Lena nodded, frowning at the lack of information, though that was nothing new where Alex was concerned.

 

"It's a smaller city than you'd think, huh?" commented Lena.

 

Alex nodded. "What movie are we watching?"

 

"Ruby chose the movie, actually" stated Kara.

 

"When?" asked Alex, looking back at Kara as she walked towards them.

 

"When she arrived. We had a selection of movies and she chose one and basically demanded we watch it."

 

Alex looked at Ruby, who smiled innocently.

  
"What did she choose?" asked Alex.

 

" _Charlie and the chocolate factory_ " replied Lena.

 

"No" stated Alex, still looking at Ruby.

 

"Why not?" asked Ruby.

 

"You need to read the book first. You can't cheat. Remember that quote, about kids watching too much TV? You gotta read the book first, Ruby, trust me."

 

"Where do you get off telling my daughter what she can and can't do?" interrupted Sam, crossing her arms.

 

Alex's eyes widened in surprise and she looked at Sam, who had a hint of a smile, which only grew when she noticed the reaction it had got.

 

"I guess I deserve that" replied Alex with a smirk, while Kara and Lena looked on, unsure about what was happening.

 

Sam uncrossed her arms. "But I have to agree. Ruby, you really should read the book first."

 

Ruby frowned, "But that's not fair, mom."

 

"Sorry baby, maybe you could choose another, and we can watch _Charlie and the chocolate factory_ once you've read the book?"

 

"I've read almost half of it!"

 

"You need to read all of it before watching the movie" stated Sam, causing Ruby to pout.

 

"What do you think of the book so far?" asked Alex.

 

Ruby's face lit up. "I thought at the start it was stupid, a book for little kids with pictures, but then I got reading and it feels... special. I'm really enjoying it."

 

Alex smiled, "See? I told you it was a good book. Have you got to the bit where they hide golden tickets in the chocolate bars?"

 

Ruby nodded, "Yeah, three of them have been found so far."

 

"Do you think the kids who found them deserved them?"

 

"No! They’re horrible."

 

Alex laughed, before sitting down on a chair. Ruby unexpectedly walked over and gave her a hug, which Alex returned after a startled pause. "What's this for?"

 

"Nothing in particular."

 

Sam looked from Alex to Ruby, with a content smile. "Ruby, once you've stopped squashing Alex, why don't you pick another DVD out?"

 

Ruby huffed but went to look at the pile of DVDs beside Kara, who helped her to look through them.

 

" _The Wizard of Oz_?"

 

Alex scoffed, causing Sam to narrow her eyes. "Oh, come on, Alex. She has to pick one. You can't say no to every movie!"

 

"Sorry. I just have a feeling Kara had something to do with that choice. Fine, let's spend a few hours in Kansas."

 

"There's no place like home" replied Kara, curling up on the couch next to Lena.

 

Sam sat on the larger couch with Ruby and indicated to Alex to sit with them on a softer seat, so Alex moved to sit next to Ruby.

 

"Do you really work for the F.B.I.?" asked Ruby, when they movie was starting.

 

Alex looked from Ruby to Sam, "You told her that?"

 

Sam smiled sheepishly, "Sorry. She was asking about you."

 

Alex nodded her head and sat back, "That's right, kiddo. Let's watch the movie now, huh?"

 

"Wow" replied Ruby, before settling into her mother’s side to watch the movie.

 

~~~

 

After the movie had finished, Ruby was beginning to feel sleepy and stayed on the couch talking to Kara, whilst Sam, Lena and Alex were in the kitchen clearing up the dishes from the snacks and drinks they’d ate during the movie.

 

"Sam, did you think any more about that business trip?" asked Lena.

 

Sam looked towards the couch where she could hear Ruby chatting. "I don't think I can go, Lena. But it was a great opportunity, so thanks for the offer."

 

Lena looked disappointed.

 

"What's this?" asked Alex.

 

Sam shook her head. "Oh, it's nothing."

 

Alex looked to Lena to see if she could find out more information from her.

 

"It's a two-day certification course I’ve offered to a selected few people. Sam would have to travel and stay away for two days, but it was a good opportunity for her and it's sure to look good on a C.V."

 

Alex turned to Sam, "Did it sound like something you'd like to do?"

 

"I can't just leave Ruby for two days. She has a science test I need to help her study for. I'd miss it if I went away. And she has a soccer match too."

 

She was interrupted by Alex's hand touching her shoulder. "Sam, I can look after Ruby for two days."

 

Sam shook her head, "I can't ask you to do that, Alex."

 

"You didn't. I offered. I'm sure she can manage without you for two days. And I'm great at science, I can help her study. And I can certainly cheer her on at a soccer game. I can tell you want to go to this course. So, go to it. Don't worry about Ruby. She'll be safe with an F.B.I. agent, don't you think?" she said with a smile.

 

Sam laughed, "True. But you have your own job, Alex. How can you take Ruby?"

 

Alex shrugged, "I'll figure something out. I'm assuming Kara and Lena will help me out if I need them?"

 

Lena nodded, "Of course."

 

Alex looked over at Ruby, "Besides, she would help me to feel less alone for a few days."

 

Sam put a hand on Alex's arm. "You're not alone, Alex. We're here for you."

 

"I know" replied Alex, nodding.

 

"What do you say then, Sam? Do you want to trust this one with your daughter and go on the course?"

 

Sam looked to Ruby again, then to Alex and Lena. "I would need to check with Ruby."

 

 

Just then Ruby looked over, "Are you talking about me?"

 

They laughed, and Ruby and Kara got up from the couch and walked through to join them.

 

"Ruby, what would you say if I had to go away for two days on a business course?"

 

"Can I come?"

 

Sam shook her head sadly, "Unfortunately, no."

 

Ruby looked to Alex, "Can Alex look after me?"

 

Alex smiled and looked at Sam, "I think that's your answer."

 

Sam opened her arms and Ruby walked into them, hugging her mother. "I love you so much, baby."

 

"You too, mom" replied Ruby.

 


	6. Chapter 6

When Alex told J'onn that she’d be looking after Ruby for a few days, he'd told her to take the time off. He believed she deserved a break and thought perhaps taking a few days off and looking after Ruby could be just what she needed.

 

Sam had been glad to find out because it meant that Ruby could spend more time with Alex, and more importantly, it meant Alex wouldn’t have to juggle work and Ruby.

 

 

Ruby had been ecstatic at the thought of spending so much time with Alex. She loved spending time with her and was fascinated by her job. She thought Alex was the coolest adult she knew.

 

When Alex and Sam started thinking it through, it became clear that Alex’s apartment was too small as she didn’t have a spare bed for Ruby, just the couch which didn’t seem very suitable. Sam suggested Alex move into hers for the two days; that way Ruby was in familiar surroundings with everything she needed. She told Alex to take her bedroom, as she wouldn’t be there anyway. Alex agreed to bring what she needed, she could easily drive home to pick up anything she’d forgotten.

 

Sam had one more request, that Alex take Sam's car and drive her to the airport, driving it back to Sam’s to be used to transport Ruby wherever she needed to go. She knew Ruby would have loved to go on Alex’s bike, but she was scared of Ruby being anywhere near it. It also meant it was her fuel which was used to transport Ruby to the soccer game and anywhere else she wanted to go.

 

~~~

 

After Sam had dropped Ruby off at school, she drove to Alex’s, who then drove Sam’s car to the airport. Sam filled her in on everything from Ruby’s bedtime to her allergies. Alex told her everything would be fine, she would only be gone for two days. She seen her off at the airport and promised to text her if anything happened.

 

She drove back to her apartment and packed a suitcase with some clothes, toiletries, and other items she might need. She then nipped into the supermarket and stocked up on some groceries, before going to Sam’s. When she was unpacking, she realised she’d unconsciously brought a bottle of whiskey with her. She hid it in a cupboard in Sam’s room, and promised herself to not go near it.

 

 

 

Alex didn’t have a lot to do that day, so she browsed the books on Sam’s bookshelf and chose a small one that looked interesting. She curled up on Sam’s couch, getting used to her surroundings, when she got a text from Sam that she’d landed safely. Alex replied that she should enjoy her course and not worry.

 

When it came time to pick Ruby up from school, Alex walked to the gates and waited. Ruby separated from her friends when she noticed Alex standing at the gate and after hugging each other, Alex suggested they walk to the park, deciding to make the most out of these days together. They talked about Ruby’s day at school and what homework she had to do, and Alex learned the usual routine for Ruby and what she had to do and when.

 

After a while, they sat on a bench and watched a couple play frisbee, before returning home. Alex got a text from Sam, asking if she picked Ruby up from school and telling her about how much she was loving the course so far. In return, Alex took a selfie of her and Ruby smiling, sending it to Sam to ensure her that she had nothing to be concerned about and that she was pleased Sam was enjoying herself.

 

~~~

 

"Okay, kiddo, what do you fancy for dinner? I bought various things from the supermarket so there's probably stuff here to make whatever you want."

 

"Can I have pizza?"

 

"Oh" replied Alex. "I bought healthier food, I guessed that Sam probably made you eat your greens and that sort of stuff?"

 

Ruby smiled, "She does. I just thought I was worth a try."

 

Alex grinned. "Sneaky. So, you truly want a pizza?"

 

Ruby put down her book. "I would love a pizza. We hardly ever have it."

 

Alex debated with herself for a while. "I don't know."

 

"Oh, please Alex?"

 

Alex bit her cheek, "I guess this once wouldn't hurt. But we need to have something healthier tomorrow?"

 

Ruby jumped up and ran to Alex, capturing her into a hug and surprising her. "Oh, thanks Alex, you're amazing!"

 

Alex hugged her back. "Just don't tell your mom, okay?"

 

"Deal" replied Ruby.

 

~~~

 

Alex joined Ruby on the couch and pulled out her phone. She tapped the screen a few times and a menu popped up for a takeaway pizza shop that delivered to the area. After deciding on what they wanted, Alex placed the order.

 

When the order arrived, Alex was in the bathroom and called out to Ruby asking her to get the door, and that her wallet was in her jacket.

 

Ruby looked around, spotting Alex's leather jacket on the back of a chair. She picked it up and felt the pockets, finding nothing. After feeling around some more she discovered an inside pocket that contained Alex's wallet. She ran to the door and pulled the relevant amount of money from the wallet, taking the pizzas from the delivery man and walking to the coffee table, placing them there.

 

As she put Alex's change in her wallet, Ruby noticed a photo inside the clear display section. She opened the wallet wider to get a better look. It was Alex with her arm around a woman, both of them grinning at the camera. They both looked so happy, but she'd never seen the woman before and had no idea who it was.

  
It was then that Alex walked into the room. "You managed okay?"

 

Ruby nodded, and as Alex got closer, she held up the wallet and pointed to the photo. "Who's this?"

 

Alex looked at Ruby, then at the wallet. She put out her hand, Ruby giving her the wallet back, before she sat down on the couch and Ruby sat next to her, watching as Alex ran a thumb over the woman's face and sighed.

 

Ruby noticed how quiet Alex had become and tried to read her expression. "Is she your girlfriend?"

 

"Fiancée" replied Alex. "Ex... Ex fiancée."

 

Ruby gave her a small smile. "I'm sorry, Alex. I shouldn't have been nosey."

 

Alex shook her head, "No. No, Ruby, you did nothing wrong. You weren't being nosey, I told you to get my wallet after all. I just... I thought I was getting over it. I thought I was getting better but I’m... still kinda sad, you know?"

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ruby asked, reaching her hand out towards Alex, palm up.

 

Alex let out a small laugh, and took Ruby's hand in her own, "No, it's okay, kiddo... We should be eating this pizza and studying for a science test. Do you have your test questions?"

 

Ruby nodded, "Yes" and she went to go and get them.

 

Alex put her wallet back in her jacket and moved it onto the coat stand, going to the kitchen for a bottle of Coke and when she was done, Ruby had returned with the notes. Alex poured some juice for each of them, and opened the pizza lids, before seating herself next to Ruby, grabbing the index cards from her, and taking a slice of pizza in the other hand.

 

She sat back, and Ruby did the same - grabbing a slice of pizza and sitting back on the couch, looking to the ceiling awaiting her first question.

  
"Why do onions make you cry?" asked Alex.

 

"Sulphuric acid" replied Ruby.

 

"Correct. Why is the sky blue?"

 

"The molecules in the atmosphere scatter blue light more than the other colours."

 

"Correct. What is a cloud?"

 

"Water drops or ice crystals floating in the sky."

 

"How do you know all of this?" asked Alex, taking another piece of pizza.

 

"Because I’m a smart-ass" replied Ruby.

 

Alex looked at her and laughed. "What on earth kind of questions are these, anyway?"

 

Ruby laughed. "They might be in the test."

 

"This is a weird test" said Alex... "Why is the sea salty?"

 

"It comes from the land" replied Ruby.

 

Alex laughed as she read the next one. "Oh my god, Ruby."

 

"What?" she asked.

 

Alex composed herself. "Why doesn't the moon fall down?"

 

"It moves sideways very fast, so it keeps missing us" replied Ruby, causing Alex to start laughing again.

 

"What?"

 

"Why are we even studying this? You clearly know it all."

 

Ruby smiled. "I love science. I want to be an astronaut when I'm older."

 

Alex looked at her, unable to stop a grin forming.

 

"What are you smiling at me for?"

 

"I love science too... You surprise me sometimes."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because you remind me of me when I was young" replied Alex.

 

Alex continued asking Ruby the questions and made her explain the answers further, so she could be sure Ruby knew everything enough to pass the test.

 

They were interrupted by a Skype call notification on the computer in the corner of the room.

 

"That'll be my mom" said Ruby.

 

Alex panicked, looking at the pizza and juice on the table.

 

"You move this, I'll answer the call?" suggested Ruby.

 

Alex nodded, and scooped up the pizza boxes, running to the kitchen with them and returning seconds later, running off with the coke.

 

"Hey, mom" said Ruby, after the Skype call connected, and Sam was displayed on screen.

 

"Hey baby, I miss you. How are you?" asked Sam, looking at the background trying to find evidence of chaos, but everything looked tidy. "Where's Alex?"

 

"She's in the kitchen. I'm fine, we're studying for my science test."

 

"That's great, baby."

 

Just then Alex came into the frame, leaning down, "Hey, Sam."

 

"Hi, Alex" said Sam with a smile. "How're you doing?"

 

"Ugh" replied Alex. "It's been awful. What a kid you've got. Nightmare."

 

Ruby looked at Alex, mouth open in shock and she batted Alex's arm, causing her to grin.

 

"I'm kidding. She's amazing. And so smart. She's got this test in the bag. Though I'm not sure what sort of science class this is, the questions are weird."

 

"Aren't they?" replied Sam, causing Alex to nod.

 

"How's the course?"

 

"Oh, it's amazing. I'm learning so much."

 

Alex chatted for a few more minutes, listening to Sam talk about the other people she’d met on the course, and how her accommodation was, her dinner plans and such things, before letting Sam and Ruby talk alone. She walked to the kitchen and took a pizza box and glass of coke, leaning down as she passed Ruby, so she wouldn't be caught on camera. Ruby laughed as she passed, causing Sam to ask what was happening.

 

"Oh, Alex is just being weird" replied Ruby, causing Alex to turn back.

 

"Hey!" she warned.

 

Once she was in Sam's room, she closed the door and took a seat on the bed. She listened to Ruby laughing and chatting to her mom and ended up taking her phone from her pocket and opening the photo gallery.

 

Alex browsed through various photos but stopped when she got to the ones of her and Maggie. The first one she came to was from their engagement party where they were showing off their rings. Taking a sip of the coke, Alex’s thoughts went to the bottle of whiskey she had in the cupboard. Against her better judgement, she ended up going to the cupboard and pouring a little of it into the coke, returning to the bed and looking again at the photos of her and Maggie.

 

A while later, she was interrupted by Ruby walking into the room and climbing onto the bed. Alex put her arm around her.

 

"Maggie" said Ruby softly, looking at the phone display.

 

Alex turned the display off and sighed. "Sorry."

 

Ruby frowned, "It's okay. I've seen my mom sad like this too. But eventually she got better. It was a long time ago though. What happened with Maggie?"

 

"I wanted to be a mom. She couldn't see that in her future. So, I couldn't find a way to make us work. And although it hurt so much, I had to let her go."

 

Ruby hugged into Alex's side. "That sucks."

 

Alex scoffed, "Yeah" she replied.

 

"For what it's worth, I think one day someone's going to be lucky to have you as a mom."

 

Alex looked at the glass, and decided she was going to drink no more than night. She'd pour it down the drain.

 

"Let's stop moping around in here and go study some more?"

 

"I think I've studied enough. Mom gave me some questions on the Skype call too, and I'm feeling quite confident about the test."

 

Alex raised her eyebrows, "Okay."

 

"We could just talk?"

 

Alex nodded, then gestured to the pizza box on the bed. "Let me tidy this stuff away. Have you had your pizza?"

 

Ruby nodded as Alex lifted the pizza box and the remainder of the coke. She took it through to the kitchen and poured the rest of her coke into the sink and cleared up.

 

"What was wrong with your coke?" asked Ruby.

 

"Oh, it was flat" she replied, before joining Ruby on the couch.

 

"Has your mom been sad a lot? I kinda thought it was just you and her against the world."

 

"It is now. But when I was younger she tried dating a few times, but it didn't seem to ever work out and she stopped trying."

 

"Is it hard, not having a father?"

 

Ruby shook her head, "You can't miss what you've never known. But I would like to see mom happy. She deserves to have a life that's not just me."

 

Alex gave her a hug. "You mean everything to her, Ruby."

  
"I know, I just mean maybe if she found someone who could care for her like she cares for me. Someone to make her feel special."

 

Alex nodded, "I know what you mean. She’s a great woman, your mom."

 

"You could date her" Ruby said, causing Alex to burst out laughing.

 

"What? Where did that come from?"

 

Ruby looked awkward. "She smiles when she's with you. She looks at you weird. I think she likes you. And maybe you like her too?"

 

Alex frowned, "I think Sam is great, but we're just friends."

 

Ruby shrugged, and Alex wondered how much truth there was to her statement.

 

"It’s a school night, missy, shouldn’t you be going to bed soon?" asked Alex after a while.

 

Ruby sighed, "Probably."

 

Alex turned to her, and raised an eyebrow, causing Ruby to get up and organise herself for bed. She hugged Ruby goodnight, and wished her sweet dreams, before reading for a little while and going to bed when she was no longer able to keep her eyes open.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Alex waited outside Ruby's school alongside the other parents.

 

When the school doors opened, she scanned the pupils until she noticed Ruby, walking out with some of her friends. As soon as Ruby noticed Alex, she left her friends, running up to Alex and enveloping her into a hug.

 

"Wow. Hey, kiddo" greeted a surprised Alex, leaning into the hug.

 

Ruby laughed softly, letting Alex go and telling her about her day as they walked to Sam's car. On the drive home, Alex learned that Ruby had aced the science test.

 

Once they were home, Ruby tried to persuade Alex to buy some takeaway as a reward for doing well in the test, but Alex refused, making some pasta so they weren’t eating junk food both days.

 

After dinner, they talked for a little while and ended up playing a karaoke game Ruby had, blasting out _Shake it off_ by Taylor Swift, doing actions and dance moves to it, laughing at each other’s dancing.

 

Then it was time for Ruby's soccer match. Alex watched Ruby proudly, shouting words of encouragement. A quarter of the way into the game, Lena joined her.

 

Not long after, Ruby tripped, and Alex instinctively started moving forward, wanting to go to the girl, but Lena's hand was on her shoulder, firm. Lena reassured Alex that she'd been going to Ruby's soccer games since she started playing, and this wasn't the first time she'd taken a tumble... the girl was a badass and she was fine. Alex nodded, focusing on her breathing and not long after that Ruby was playing again, and Alex was back to shouting encouragement.

 

Once the soccer game ended, Ruby ran to Alex and Lena. Alex immediately bent down to her level and asked to check her knee. It was just a graze, but she got some bottled water and a tissue, and cleaned it up.

 

"What does your mom do when you hurt yourself?" she asked.

 

"She's scared of blood. So, she normally freaks out, but if it's just a graze she kisses it better."

 

Alex looked up at Lena, then back to Ruby, "Does that work?"

 

Ruby shook her head, "Not really."

 

Alex laughed and lifted Ruby's knee, kissing it. "There you go, all better."

 

Ruby smiled, "Thanks, Alex."

 

Unknown to Alex and Ruby, at that exact moment; Alex holding Ruby's knee, and them both looking at each other with fond smiles, Lena snapped a photo of them and sent it to Sam.

 

Alex placed Ruby's leg back on the ground and got up to her own level. "Is your mom going to Skype call today?"

 

"I don't think so."

 

"She's should be home tonight" stated Lena.

 

Alex nodded, "Quite late."

 

"Will you stay?" asked Ruby, looking up at Alex.

 

"Of course. I'll be with you until she comes back home" replied Alex, ruffling Ruby's hair a little.

 

They were interrupted by a familiar voice, "Hey!"

 

They turned around to see Kara walking towards them, "Did I miss the game?" she asked, disappointed.

 

Alex nodded, "It just finished."

 

Kara sighed, and turned to Ruby, "Sorry, Rubes. Did you win?"

 

Ruby shook her head, "No."

 

Kara bent down to Ruby and gave her a hug, "It's not the winning, it's the taking part that matters."

 

Alex and Lena chuckled.

 

"She played well" informed Lena.

 

Kara nodded, "Sam's home tonight, right?"

 

"Right" replied Alex.

 

Lena indicated to a nearby bench. "Ruby, do you want to go sit for a bit?"

 

Ruby nodded, and she and Lena walked to the bench to sit, leaving Kara with Alex.

 

 

"Can I stay with you while you wait for Sam to get back?" asked Kara.

 

Alex shook her head, "You don't have to Kara, Ruby and I are enjoying our time together."

 

"Alex... we haven't spoken much for a while, don't shut me out again."

 

"I'm not."

 

Kara raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? How are you doing, Alex, really?"

 

Alex sighed, "I'm fine. Good even."

 

"Honestly?"

Alex nodded, "I'm doing better, Kara. How about you come over some night when I’m back at my own place?"

 

Kara nodded, "I'd like that."

 

Alex smiled, "Me too. Come here." She opened her arms inviting Kara into them. Kara smiled and wrapped her arms around Alex.

 

After they separated, Kara left with Lena, and Alex and Ruby walked to the car and drove back to Sam's apartment.

 

~~~

 

When it was late enough, Alex tried to get Ruby to go to bed, but the girl could not sleep when she knew her mother would be home that night. She wanted to wait up for her, so after a while Alex let her.

 

Ruby put on a CD of her mothers and Alex poured them both a glass of coke. As she listened to the lyrics, the songs began to make her mind drift to thoughts of Maggie.

 

_Hey, your glass is empty_

_It's a hell of a long way home_

_Why don't you let me take you?_

_It's no good to go alone_

_I never would have opened up_

_But you seemed so real to me_

_After all the bullshit I've heard_

_It's refreshing not to see_

_I don't have to pretend_

_She doesn't expect it from me_

 

She could feel the sadness coming, but Ruby was enjoying the music, sitting on her computer oblivious to the affect it was having.... or so Alex thought.

 

She got up and walked through to Sam's room, pouring a little whiskey into the coke and returning to the couch.

 

"Alex?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

Ruby walked to the couch and sat down next to her. "Why do you do that?"

 

"Do what?"

 

"Why do you drink?"

 

Alex looked down to the glass. "Lots of people drink, Ruby. Your mom does."

 

"Yeah, but it's different. You seem sad when you do it."

 

Alex looked at Ruby. "Why are you like a grown up in a kid’s body?"

 

Ruby shrugged.

 

"The songs, they're reminding me of Maggie" explained Alex.

 

"I can turn it off?"

 

The next song started.

 

_Your love_

_Is better than ice cream._

_Better than anything else that I've tried_

_And your love_

_Is better than ice cream_

_Everyone here knows how to cry_

_And it's a long way down_

_It's a long way down_

_It's a long way_

_Down to the place where we started from_.

 

Alex shook her head. "Your mom likes this?"

 

Ruby nodded. "It's Sarah McLachlan."

 

"It's depressing" replied Alex, and Ruby switched it off and returned to the couch.

 

"You shouldn't drink when you're sad" said Ruby.

 

"No?"

 

Ruby shook her head. "No."

 

Alex looked to the drink again. She thought about Ruby noticing it. She thought about Kara, and her words to her. She thought about Maggie, and the times she'd took the bottle away from Alex. She thought about Sam.

 

Ruby was right. If she was going to be a mother, she needed to stop this. She couldn't be a good mother if she was always turning to alcohol to get through her pain. She took a deep breath and sighed, getting up and walking to the sink, pouring the coke down the drain and returning to sit next to Ruby.

 

"You're older than your years, do you know that?"

 

Ruby nodded. "That's the second time you've told me that, Alex."

 

"Well, it's true. I don't know how I would have got through these last few days without you. I didn't even know Maggie's photo was still in my wallet, I'd just gone blindly through my days. I'd open it and pull out money, but I was never paying much attention. But seeing her photo, it just brought back so many memories of her. It's all so raw, still, and looking at the photos on my phone... I'm glad that you've been here with me, Ruby."

 

"Same" she replied, simply. "You'll find someone else, and you'll get to be a mom. I can tell."

 

"Oh, can you now?"

 

"Yep. I'm a smart-ass, remember?"

 

Alex smiled, "Yeah, you are."

 

They were interrupted by a soft knock on the door, before it opened, and Sam poked her head round, taking in the scene of her daughter and Alex, hugging and talking on the couch, before walking into the room.

 

Ruby walked up to her and Sam opened her arms, "Hey, baby" she said, hugging Ruby. "I've missed you so much."

 

"Hi" she mouthed to Alex, who smiled in response.

 

"It's really late, I didn't think you'd still be up. You have school tomorrow."

 

"She couldn't sleep, so I let her stay up. Is that okay?" asked Alex.

 

"Sure. But I think you should go to bed now, Ruby, or you’ll be like a zombie tomorrow."

 

Ruby nodded and hugged her mother again, before walking to Alex and hugging Alex.

 

"Night Alex, it’s been awesome."

 

Alex rubbed Ruby’s back, "Night, kiddo. Thanks for listening."

 

"Sure" she replied, as Sam gave them both a quizzical look.

 

~~~

 

"Have you eaten?" asked Alex, once Ruby was tucked up in bed.

 

"No, I'm starving" replied Sam.

  
Alex nodded and got up, walking to the kitchen. "I'm going to make you dinner. Go unpack your stuff and I’ll let you know when it’s ready."

 

"No, you don't have to do that. Don't you want to get home?"

 

"Honestly? Not really."

 

"What's wrong?"

 

Alex shook her head, starting to make the pasta. "Go get unpacked first."

 

Sam went to her room and unpacked her case before joining Alex again in the kitchen.

 

Sam smiled as she talked about the course, about all she had learned, and the people she had met, and how wonderful an opportunity it had been. She thanked Alex for allowing her to do that.

 

Alex sat the plate of pasta down and poured a glass of red wine for Sam.

 

"Are you having a glass?" Sam asked.

 

Alex shook her head, "No."

 

Alex watched Sam eat for a little while.

 

"Are you going to tell me what's bugging you, Alex?"

 

 

Alex got up and walked to Sam's bedroom, returning with the whiskey bottle, sitting it in front of Sam.

 

"This."

 

Sam swallowed, looking from the bottle to Alex with concern in her eyes. Again, Alex found herself opening up to Sam.

 

"I brought this into your home. I sneaked a few drinks of it when Ruby was doing other things. Yesterday she found a photo of Maggie in my wallet and asked about her. When I left you during your Skype chat, I went to your room, and I ended up looking through photos on my phone. That was when I opened it. I did it again tonight while we waited for you to come home. She was playing Sarah McLachlan; do you know how depressing those songs are when you miss someone? But I didn't drink it. She called me out. She asked why I drank when I was sad. She talked to me. I poured it down the sink, both times."

 

Sam held Alex's hand and sighed. "You brought drink into my house and drank it while looking after my daughter?"

 

Alex frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to bring this here, I did it without thinking, but I shouldn’t have done that. I’ve always used drink to numb pain, since I was 16. I spent a night in a cell once, because I got wasted and I was gonna drive myself home. Luckily, I dropped the keys. But then a cop car came along. I was throwing my life away... until I ended up at the F.B.I. and I’m not that person any more, not really. Or at least, I thought I wasn't. I know I drink too much. I don't want to be like this, Sam. If I’m going to be a mom I need to stop. Completely stop. But I don't know if I can do it alone."

 

"You're not alone, Alex. You have me. You have Kara. And your friends."

 

"I don't want Kara worrying about me any more than she probably already is."

 

"Then I can help you, if you'll let me."

 

"How?"

 

"When you feel that urge to go to the bottle, phone me. And I’ll be there. I won't let you do this alone."

 

Alex nodded. "I don't want to be a burden."

 

Sam got up and hugged Alex, "You'd never be a burden. Trust me."

 

After breaking the hug and returning to her chair, Sam studied Alex's face. "Can you stay here tonight?"

 

"What?"

 

"I don't want you alone tonight, Alex."

 

Alex looked around before nodding. "Well, I don't have my bike, so I guess it makes sense. I can take the couch."

 

Sam nodded. "Or you can take the bed, like you've been doing."

 

"Then where would you sleep?"

 

"Next to you."

 

Alex frowned.

 

"I know any time I’ve went through something, it's helped having Ruby in with me. Just say if I’m overstepping the mark, but I’m just saying what works for me."

 

Alex sighed, thinking about it, before nodding. "Okay."

 

Sam washed the dishes and unpacked, getting stuff ready for the next day at work while Alex took a shower and changed into pyjamas. She got into bed and Sam went for a shower, before putting on pyjamas and crawling in behind Alex, wrapping her arms around her.

 

"Is this okay?" she asked.

 

Alex didn't answer, she was already fast asleep.

 

Sam smiled, placing a soft kiss on Alex's neck. "Goodnight, Alex" she whispered.

 

Sam couldn't see it, but Alex smiled in her sleep.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Sam was the first to wake the next morning when the room was bathed in the sunlight that crept in from around the curtains. She awoke lying on her back, with Alex curled up over her, her head resting on Sam's chest and her arm draped at Sam's side. Glancing down at Alex brought a smile to Sam’s lips, and she tried not to move so she wouldn’t wake her. She felt at peace in that moment, feeling Alex breathe on top of her. She hadn’t shared her bed with an adult for a number of years, but having Alex curled up and resting on her felt comfortable, it felt right. She lay there for a while, knowing that the alarm would go off soon.

 

When the alarm clock went off, Alex woke with a start, opening her eyes briefly and letting out a soft moan. A few moments later she became aware of the body rising and falling under her, she froze for a second before sitting up and looking at Sam.

 

"Morning" said Sam with a smile.

 

Alex gave a small tired smile in return. "Sorry", she motioned to Sam's body, concerned that she'd ended up lying over her friend.

 

Sam shook her head, "Don't worry about it. How did you sleep?"

 

"Good, actually."

 

"How are you feeling?"

 

Alex looked away, "Like I wish yesterday was just a dream."

 

Sam reached out, cupping Alex's chin in her hand and turning her gently round to face her. "Alex. Look at me. You have nothing to be ashamed about. Okay?"

 

Alex looked at Sam with sad eyes. "I shouldn't have burdened you with that. Especially not when you'd just arrived home."

 

"Alex. I'm glad you felt you could share it with me. And I'm going to help you through this, okay? You don't have to be embarrassed, or sorry, or any of that with me. You can tell me anything. I want you to share things with me. I feel like if I had something to work through, you'd be there for me?"

 

Alex nodded, "Of course."

 

"So, let me be there for you. Now. Today. When does your shift start?"

 

Alex glanced at the clock, "I don't go back until tomorrow."

 

Sam nodded. "Oh. Okay. Well, I have a few meetings, but I can finish early and we can meet up?"

 

Alex nodded, "I'd like that."

 

"What will you do on your last day off?" Sam asked.

 

Alex shrugged. "Stay in bed?"

 

Sam tilted her head to the side, looking at Alex.

 

Alex chuckled. "Well, I have most of my belongings packed up in that bag over there, so I'll probably go back to my apartment to check it's still standing and do some laundry. And then... I don't know. You don't need to babysit me, Sam. That's not what I want. I'd like to meet up with you after your work, because I want to spend time with you, not because I need supervision."

 

Sam nodded. "That's not what I’m doing. I'm simply asking what your plans are. And that's not why I offered, I want to spend time with you too, Alex."

 

Alex gave a half-smile. "Sorry for assuming."

 

Sam shook her head, "I don't blame you, I was a bit much when we first met so I know why you jumped to that conclusion, but I know you now."

 

Alex nodded. "By the way, I really enjoyed spending time with Ruby, she's a brilliant kid. Very smart, mature for her age."

 

Sam smiled, "It's her birthday next month. I don't know where the years go sometimes."

 

"What? She didn't mention it. Well, that's what I'll be doing today then, planning a nice present for Ruby."

 

Sam shook her head, "Alex, you don't have to buy Ruby something. There's no need for that."

 

"Are you kidding? I love that kid. This might be the distraction I need. Does she want a party?"

 

"Alex..."

 

Alex looked sad. "Sorry. I'm not meaning to intrude. Is it okay if I buy her a gift at least?"

 

"Sure, but you don't have to."

 

"I want to. And honestly, if you ever need a babysitter and I’m available, I'll be at the front of the queue to volunteer. If you'd want me to."

 

"Of course, I would."

 

Alex smiled, "Glad to hear it. Now, shouldn't you be getting up?"

 

Sam smiled, "I suppose so." Sighing, she got up from the bed and gave Alex's shoulder a comforting squeeze before walking to the closet and browsing her work clothes, selecting an item to wear.

 

"Sam?"

 

"Yeah?" she asked, as she headed to the en-suite to change.

 

"Thanks."

 

Sam stopped in the doorway and turned around, her forehead creased in confusion.

 

Alex motioned to the bed, "For your idea. I slept more than I have for a while."

 

Sam smiled, "I'm glad I could help."

 

Alex nodded, before Sam entered the en-suite and locked the door. She got up and wandered through to the kitchen, where Ruby was already sitting eating cereal.

 

"Morning, kiddo. You're up already?"

 

Ruby nodded, "You stayed over?"

 

"That okay? Your mom and I talked till quite late last night, she didn't want me going home tired."

 

"Sure" replied Ruby, smiling.

 

Alex started brewing some coffee then sat down at the end of the table. "I keep meaning to ask, how are you getting on with _Charlie and the chocolate factory_?"

 

"I'm finished. We should be going to the exchange soon, so I can pick another. But I’m never very good at selecting them. Sometimes there's not much there."

 

"You liked that one though?"

 

Ruby nodded, then looked thoughtful. "I’m not sure I liked the ending though. If Charlie lives in the chocolate factory now, how can he finish his education and get qualifications? And his family didn’t want to go. And I know it wasn't a big house he had, but it's now totally ruined."

 

Alex let out a small laugh, "Yeah, I felt the same. But I think the main message of the story was that the other kids were horrible, and Charlie, the kindest and nicest one, won the prize of having this amazing chocolate factory and they would never go hungry or have to struggle anymore. I think that’s what we are to take away from it. That if you’re nice, nice things come to you, and if you’re not, they won’t. Like karma, basically."

 

"Still could have had a better ending."

 

Alex laughed, "Fair enough. Do you only get books from the exchange, or from the book store too?"

 

"Just the exchange. Sometimes I use my pocket money and get some from the charity shop near the school. But not for a while. Mom's usually quite busy at work so we don't often go to the book shops like we used to."

 

Alex nodded thoughtfully, and asked Ruby about the kinds of books she liked and the kind she'd like to read if she could find them at the exchange. While they were talking, Sam came through and made some breakfast, pouring Alex a coffee and placing it in front of her, before taking a seat herself and eating her breakfast silently as she listened to the conversation.

 

They told her about their two days together and the fun they had, making sure not to mention that they had pizza the first day. As they spoke about the questions for the science test, the soccer game, doing karaoke to Taylor Swift, the park, and the other events, they both had grins on their faces, and Sam couldn't help smiling contentedly whilst listening to them. They didn't go into too much detail about anything because their time was limited before Sam and Ruby had to leave. Once they'd summed up events and everyone had finished breakfast, Sam told Ruby to get ready for school and started getting herself ready for work.

 

Alex cleared the table and started washing the dishes, brushing off attempts by Sam for her to leave them. She had just finished when Sam and Ruby were ready to leave, and she turned around to see them off.

 

"Will you be okay?" asked Sam.

 

"Sure" replied Alex.

 

"I don't know when I’ll finish so is it okay if I just come to your flat after work? Will you be there?"

 

Alex nodded, "Probably, but send me a text before you leave work anyway?"

 

Sam nodded.

 

"Oh, I borrowed a book from your bookshelf. Is that okay?" asked Alex.

 

"The David Sedaris one that's lying on my bedside table? Sure. You can take it, and just give it back when you're done. Are you liking it?"

 

Alex made a face, "It's funny, I like his writing. It makes me aware there are other people as messed up as me."

 

"Hey, come on! You're not messed up."

 

Alex smiled. "It's a good book, Sam, now get to work. I'm not answering to Lena if you're late."

 

Sam laughed, and gave Alex a quick hug, before Ruby did the same and they both left for the day.

 

Alex stayed and tidied up some more, before having a shower and getting dressed, putting in her contact lenses and ensuring she had everything packed. When she was ready, she left Sam’s and closed the door with the spare key she still had before she walked back to her apartment to check her motorbike and everything was as she left it.

 

~~~

 

 

When there was a knock at her door that night, Alex was almost finished the David Sedaris book she’d borrowed from Sam, _Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim_. She finished the last few lines and put the book down, walking to the door and opening it to see Sam on the other side, still dressed in her work clothes.

 

"Hey, Sam. Come in" she greeted, moving out of the way.

 

Sam walked in and Alex closed the door after her. "Can I take your coat?"

 

"Sure" replied Sam, shrugging off her coat and handing it to Alex who put it on a coat stand. Sam walked over to the couch and took a seat, sitting her bag on the coffee table and noticing the book sitting there. She pointed to it, "How’s it going?"  
  
"Just finished it, actually. You can take it away with you. It was a fun read" replied Alex, walking to the kitchen.

 

Sam nodded, and picked up the book, putting it in her bag.

 

"Can I get you a drink? Water, tea, juice…"

 

Sam looked over at Alex, "A water would be nice, thanks."

 

Alex nodded, and got some glasses out of the cupboard, filling them both with water and joining Sam on the couch, handing her a glass.

 

"How was work?" asked Alex.

 

Sam sighed, "Pretty busy. I have a bit of a backlog from being off for a few days, but I dealt with the most urgent things, and the rest of the day was full of meetings. I signed off a deal with a new company today so I’m going to be busy quite a lot with that. I don't know how much I'll get to see you in the next few weeks."

 

Alex shook her head, "Don't worry about it, Sam. Like I said, I don't need a babysitter. We can still text, and call. Those are options too. And I can handle myself, you don’t need to be immediately accessible you know."

  
Sam nodded in understanding.

 

"Well done for getting the deal."

 

Sam laughed, "Thanks. It's a pretty important client, Lena was quite impressed I managed to get them on board."

 

"I bet you're amazing at your work. Intelligent, efficient, knows how to rock a business suit. It would actually be cool to watch you in action."

 

"Says the F.B.I. agent."

 

Alex sniggered, "You'd like to watch me work?"

 

Sam smiled shyly, "I run from danger, so I don't think I could ever watch you work, but I’m sure you're pretty amazing out in the field."

 

"You do know that sometimes it's just paperwork, right?"

 

"I know."

 

Alex smiled. "If you need someone to pick up Ruby after school or anything, just let me know okay?"

 

Sam nodded, "I have Lena and Kara too, but of course, thanks."

 

"Oh! I bought you something" stated Alex, before getting up to the kitchen and bringing back a small wrapped bundle which she handed to Sam as she sat down next to her.

 

"What did I do to deserve this?" asked Sam, looking at the gift. "No, this is back to front. I should be giving you a gift for looking after my kid."

 

Alex chuckled, "It was a pleasure, Sam. I just wanted to buy you something nice. I know you love pancakes and when I saw these in the shop I thought of you. They’re lemon and poppy seed. I hope that's not too weird."

 

Sam grinned, "It actually sounds really good. It’s so kind of you, Alex. Thank you so much. I'll share them with Ruby tomorrow for breakfast?"

 

"Perfect" agreed Alex, smiling with Sam. "Where is Ruby, isn't school finished?"

 

Sam placed the pancakes in her bag. "Yeah... I thought I would get out of work earlier than this. She has an after-school class today, so she was going to go to a friend’s house afterwards. I’m picking her up from there. I really should have stayed at work to finish off some more things, but I missed Ruby too much at the course, I need to spend time with her today, especially when I know I’m going to be so busy. It's not fair on her that I’m not around much."

 

"I’m sure she understands."

 

Sam nodded, and looked around the apartment, her eyes drawn to a messy looking wooden cabinet. "What's that?"

 

"Oh. The cabinet?"

 

Sam nodded, "And why didn't I notice it last time I was here, it’s so ugly and out of place."

 

"Thanks... I made it, actually."

 

Sam looked at Alex, open mouthed. "I'm so sorry. It's a lovely cabinet."

 

Alex laughed, "Well, I like it. I made it years ago, not long after I moved into this place. Someone around the corner threw out all this good quality wood and I was watching quite a lot of D.I.Y. shows, and things about recycling. I looked at the wood and thought, what a waste. So, I took some of it and made that cabinet. And maybe to you it's ugly, but I like it."

 

"I think ugly was the wrong word. I just meant that it looks out of place, not like your other decor."

 

"Well, it's not like my other decor. Its hand made. Personal. And as to what it is, it's my drinks cabinet."

 

Sam chuckled, and Alex made a face at her.

 

"I kind of collect whiskey. It's not a big cabinet so it's a modest collection, but there are a few expensive ones in there."

 

She got up and walked over to the cabinet, opening the doors so Sam could see into it. Sam walked over and sat beside Alex on the floor. "Wow. There's like 20 bottles in here."

 

"A lot are unopened, collectors’ items."

 

Sam looked at the cabinet and was surprised to see up close it was really well made. She ran her hand over the wood, "You know, I take back what I said. Up close, it's actually quite nice looking."

 

"Thank you."

 

They shared a smile before returning to the couch.

 

"I've never gotten into whiskey. I tried it once, but it was horrible" admitted Sam.

 

Alex chuckled, "A lot of people say that. Or they complain that it burns. But honestly, once you learn how to taste the different flavours and appreciate the effort, and time it takes to make it, and the effect of different barrels on the colour and taste, it's... I don't know how to explain it but taking time over a whiskey..." she shook her head, unable to put into words what she was trying to say.

 

Sam gave a small smile.

 

After some silence, Alex changed the subject. "Did you meet anyone at the course?"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Well, you usually get paired with someone or start talking to someone that becomes your friend for the duration of the course, right?"

 

"Oh. Yeah, there weren't that many women there, so I got talking with a few of them, but the one I got along with most was called Cathy. We exchanged email addresses. She has a son around Ruby's age, so we bonded over that, we were both missing our kids."

 

Alex smiled, and leaned her head back to rest on the couch. She looked up at the ceiling, "Do you think you'll stay in touch?"

 

Sam leaned back on the couch too, her arms resting at her side. "I doubt it, maybe we'd email for a week, then we'd be too busy. Friendships rarely come out of business courses."

 

Alex laughed lightly and turned her head to face Sam, "They rarely come from walking up to strangers sitting on benches either, but it worked out for us."

 

Sam smiled, and turned to Alex. "That's true. Maybe we would have met some other way, through Lena and Kara. But I like that we got here by ourselves."

 

"Me too, Sam" replied Alex with a smile. She moved her hand off her lap and ran her fingers down Sam's hand. When she'd reached the end of Sam's fingers, Sam opened her hand, so their fingers could entwine, and then she gave Alex's a squeeze.

  
Alex tensed. She wasn't sure what had made her reach for Sam's hand. A spur of the moment reaction maybe, nevertheless the fact that Sam had returned the gesture confused her. Sam was a straight woman. A friend. Nothing more.

 

Just when Alex was wondering how best to let go of Sam's hand, music erupted, and Sam pulled her hand away and reached for her bag, pulling it onto her lap.

 

She removed her now silent phone and checked the screen, her fingers almost immediately hitting out a response to the text message, explaining the situation to Alex as she did so. "Sorry, Alex. This is the mother of Ruby’s friend, I was supposed to be there, like, now."

 

She put her phone back into her bag.

 

"No problem. Go get your daughter."

 

They both stood up and walked to the door.

 

"Thanks for popping over" said Alex when they reached the door. She lifted Sam's coat and helped her into it, before giving her a hug goodbye and watching her go along the hallway to the lift door and giving her a little wave before the door closed and the lift descended to the ground floor.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

With Sam busy at work, and Alex back at the D.E.O., they hadn't been able to see each other for a while. They had, however, stayed in touch via text message at various times of the day and night.

 

Alex had been spending more time with Kara outside of work, and they had talked about how she was doing without Maggie, how Sam and Ruby were helping her to heal, and how she'd realised she maybe had a problem with alcohol and was trying to sort that out if she was going to become a mother. Kara had been supportive and wanted Alex to allow her to assist. Alex being stubborn wanted to keep Kara away from anything she didn't have to be dealing with.

 

It had been Kara who had mentioned that Lena was looking after Ruby on Saturday afternoon, and Sam would be at home. This information caused Alex to decide on a surprise for Sam, and she planned to visit her.

 

~~~

 

Alex turned up at Sam’s door and gave it a knock.

 

When Sam opened the door a few moments later, she looked surprised.

 

"Oh."

 

Alex frowned, "Oh? That sounded like a disappointment."

 

"No, not at all. It’s just a surprise that’s all. Come in. Are you doing okay?"

 

"Oh, me? No, I’m fine. I know you've been pretty hectic at work, and Kara had said Ruby was with Lena today, so I thought I would surprise you with a visit, but..." She took a step over the threshold and noticed all the paperwork on the coffee table, "It seems like I’ve interrupted you at a busy time, so I can just go." She pointed behind her with her thumb, but Sam shook her head and opened the door wider.

 

"Ruby's at Lena's because I'm just trying to get some work done. I’m falling behind a little" explained Sam, closing the door once Alex had entered, before walking to her couch and sitting down.

 

"Oh" replied Alex, who was still standing in the middle of the room.

 

Sam nodded. "There's just a lot of stuff happening right now, and I had some meetings I missed when I was on that course. I’ve been putting it off too long."

 

Alex gave Sam a small smile, playing with her sleeve. "Have you had lunch?"

 

"No."

 

"Well… you need to eat, Sam. Could you spare an hour?"

 

Sam looked at the paperwork, "I guess... Yeah, maybe a break would be good."

 

"I would like to take you for a picnic" said Alex, pointing to the backpack she had on her front.

 

Sam let out a small laugh and pointed at the backpack, "What's in the backpack, and why are you wearing it on your front?"

 

Alex laughed, "It's lunch. And I have it on my front to allow me to drive my bike with you on the back of it."

 

"Oh, no way, no."

 

Alex pouted.

 

"Oh, god, you're like Ruby when you do that. How can I say no to that face, but honestly Alex... motorcycles? It sounds terrifying to me."

 

"Oh, come on. The fresh air will do you good. I'll take care of you, Sam. I am an F.B.I. agent, remember?"

 

"Cocky."

 

Alex shrugged. "What do you say? Please?"

 

Sam frowned.

 

"I have the food. I have the blanket. I have the transport. I just need you, Sam."

 

"Oh, what a charmer" laughed Sam, fanning herself.

 

"Oh, shut up. I didn't mean it like that."

 

Sam grinned. "How far is it?"

 

"Not that far. And if you hate it, we'll stop."

 

Sam sighed, thinking it over before finally giving in. "Okay."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"It doesn't seem like I have much of a choice."

 

Alex smiled, and pumped her fist in celebration. Sam rolled her eyes, before she gathered a few things and they both exited the apartment, Sam locking the door before following Alex down to the bike.

 

 

When Alex reached the bike, she lifted the helmets and waved her arm at the bike. "Sam, meet Juliet, your ride for this afternoon."

 

"Juliet?"

 

"Yep."

 

"Does she help you get the girls?"

 

Alex frowned, and looked down awkwardly.

 

"Sorry. It was too soon for a joke like that."

 

"No. No, it's okay." Alex looked at the bike, "Juliet hasn't met many ladies, yet. So, I can't answer that question." She held the spare helmet out for Sam to take before she climbed onto the bike.

 

"Come on then, koala bear" she said, patting the seat behind her.

 

Sam laughed, "You remember that?"

 

"Oh, yes."

 

With a sigh, Sam put on the helmet and awkwardly climbed on the bike with some help from Alex.

 

"Grip onto me" instructed Alex.

 

Sam loosely put her arms around Alex's waist.

 

"Tighter, Sam. Do you want to fall off?"

 

Sam tightened her grip a little and Alex started the bike. As soon as she moved off, Sam gripped even tighter.

 

Alex tried not to think about it too much.

 

~~~

 

"You can open your eyes, Sam" she said, fifteen minutes into the journey, speaking loud enough that Sam could hear over the traffic.

 

"How do you know they're not open?" she shouted back.

 

Alex laughed. "It was a guess. A good one by the sounds of it... We're here by the way."

 

She drove the bike onto the grass and stopped at an empty spot. Sam was still clutching onto her.

 

"You kind of have to get off the bike now, Sam."

 

Sam opened her eyes and looked around. She loosened her grip on Alex and climbed off the bike, unsteadily walking a few paces, before pulling her helmet off and shaking her hair loose. Alex swallowed, and pushed away the thoughts from her mind. She got off the bike and removed her helmet. "Well, how was that?"

 

"My legs are shaking."

 

Alex laughed, before opening her backpack and removing a blanket, which she then unfolded and placed on the ground, indicating with her hands for Sam to sit down.

 

"You get used to that. And... apart from the shaky legs?"

 

Sam screwed up her face, sitting down on the blanket. "I think I’ll stick to driving a car."

 

"Shame" responded Alex, before she sat down beside Sam. She placed the backpack down and took out the various items she'd bought, organising them on the blanket. A flask of tea, some cups, sandwiches, cheese, crisps.

 

"You prepared all of this? For me?" asked Sam.

 

Alex nodded. "To say thank you."

 

"For what?"

 

Alex looked at Sam and shook her head, "Just let me say thank you."

 

Sam nodded, and Alex poured out some glasses of tea and handed Sam a paper plate and told her what was in each sandwich.

 

Sam transferred a few sandwiches onto her plate and took a drink of tea, before leaning back on the blanket and looking at the skyline. "It’s nice here."

 

"Yeah. I like this spot. It’s not far from the city but it’s peaceful" replied Alex, as she placed sandwiches onto her plate and looked at the view.

 

"So, all the whiskey is gone from my apartment. I expect you had something to do with that?"

 

"I left a bottle."

 

Alex laughed, "Yeah. Just tell me you didn't pour it all down the drain?"

 

Sam shook her head. "Oh no, it's safe."

 

Alex nodded. "Kara let you in?"

 

Sam nodded. "Busted."

 

 

They were silent for a while before Alex looked at Sam.

 

"Do you think you'll ever date again?"

 

Sam stopped eating her sandwich and turned to Alex. "Where'd that come from?"

 

"Ruby had said you tried when she was younger, but it never worked out. I just wondered if you ever thought about giving it another go."

 

Sam looked down. "I come as a package deal. Not a lot of people want that."

 

"Maybe you just didn't look in the right places?"

 

"Maybe. Sometimes I’d meet someone, and it'd be going well, but the moment Ruby came into the equation they lost interest. I mean, she was so young then. But she'll always come first for me. And when people realised that, they ran for the hills. I guess a single mom isn't that appealing. It got to the point I didn't want to disappoint Ruby, or mess her around, so I just stopped."

 

Alex nodded. "I get that."

 

"Has she said something?"

 

"No. Not really, I was just wondering. There weren't many people before Maggie..." She laughed. "Well, they weren’t what I was looking for, I just didn't know that then. But now... I don't know if I’ll find someone again. I was so used to being alone. Relationships weren't really something I thought about that much. Then she came along, and everything changed."

 

"You'll find someone, Alex. You've got a lot to offer."

 

"You too, Sam. Maybe you should give it another go."

 

Sam laughed, before her phone let out a chime. "Oh, where's my phone?"

 

They both looked around, before Alex found it on the blanket next to her. "Here." She picked it up and looked at the screen, frowning at the image she saw there. It was her and Ruby, after she'd cleaned Ruby's knee.

 

Sam's fingers appeared in front of the picture as she took the phone from Alex's hands. "Um, thanks."

 

She checked the reason for the phone chiming. "Oh, it's an alarm I set to remind myself to take a break each hour. I forgot I'd set it." She turned to Alex, to see a curious look on her face.

 

"You have Ruby and I as your lock screen?"

 

Sam looked at the phone awkwardly, "Is that okay? It's a good photo."

 

Alex smiled, nodding, "Sure. I didn't even know Lena was taking our photo."

 

"She can be sneaky when she wants to be" informed Sam, before changing the subject by complimenting Alex on the sandwiches.

 

Alex laughed softly, brushing off the compliment. "Oh, I meant to ask how the Peter May book was going? I noticed it in your apartment. It looked like you were almost at the end?"

 

Sam smiled, "Yeah. I've finished it now actually, so it's back in the book exchange."

 

"And?"

 

"It’s amazing. It’s got this American pathologist in it, Margaret, I swear she’s Maura Isles. Everything about her is just totally Maura. I’m loving it."

 

Alex smiled, " _Rizzoli and Isles_ again, huh?"  


"Maura was so hot. And totally into Jane, it’s a shame they didn’t get together."

 

Alex looked at Sam and momentarily panicked. Was her straight, incredibly beautiful friend, not that straight after all?

 

"I didn’t know you were into girls."

 

"Huh?"

 

"You said Maura was hot."

 

"Yeah, she was... I’m into men and women. Is that surprising?"

 

"Yes. I mean, I guess because of Ruby, I just assumed... wrongly it seems."

 

Sam shrugged. "I was really young when I had Ruby, I hadn't figured myself out yet."

 

Alex nodded.

 

"So, Jane was the one for you, right?" asked Sam.

 

"Yeah. She was my favourite, not that Maura wasn't hot and amazing too, but Jane being a cop and that voice of hers, and that hair." Alex paused, "You know, I guess long haired brunettes is my thing."

 

Sam glanced at her. She had seen photos of Maggie in Alex's apartment the night she took her home when they'd met and knew Maggie was a brunette, but Sam was also. She wondered if there was anything to it but dismissed the thought.

 

"Have you read anything since the David Sedaris book?" she asked, changing the subject.

 

Alex frowned. "No... work has been quite hectic."

 

Sam nodded, "I know how that feels."

 

Alex chuckled, "I always wonder how much of the book is based on his life and how much is made up."

 

"It's hard to tell isn't it? But there's something about his books that gets to me" explained Sam, and she turned to Alex with that smile that lit up her face, and Alex got lost in it, and got lost in her thoughts, before pulling herself back to the present.

 

She cleared her throat, "I think I’ll need to get to the exchange before someone takes Peter May away. I want to get to know this twin Maura Isles."

 

"Oh, you'll love it, Alex" replied Sam, grinning.

 

Alex grinned back, and for a second, she forgot how to breathe.

 

When they had finished eating, Alex packed away the leftovers into her backpack and they spent a little while looking over the skyline, lost in their own thoughts, until Sam brought up the time and how she should be getting back to work.

 

Alex folded up the blanket, packing it into the backpack, and she and Sam walked to the motorbike.

 

Alex got on, and slipped on her helmet, passing the other to Sam, who reluctantly got back on the bike behind Alex.

 

"You gonna keep your eyes open this time, Arias?"

 

Sam laughed at the use of her surname, "No promises."

 

Alex waited until Sam’s arms were around her waist before starting the bike, and driving Sam back to her home, where they shared a hug.

 

Sam thanked Alex and promised she would return the favour when she was less busy.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Alex had gone to the book exchange after work. Someone had taken out the Peter May book, so she found herself walking to the book store where she purchased the second book in the _Rizzoli and Isles_ series, " _The Apprentice_."

 

The edition of the book she'd bought had a photo of _Rizzoli and Isles_ from the TV show on the cover. This book introduced Warren Hoyt, the sick bastard that tortured Jane, giving her the scars on both her hands.

 

After returning home, Alex decided to clean her apartment a little and then have a shower. At the D.E.O. she had to wear contact lenses for safety, but they had been irritating her today, so she removed them before entering the shower. Once she was clean and in casual clothes, she made a cup of tea and curled up on the couch with her book, putting on her glasses to read.

 

As she started to read, she felt this book was more like the show, and once more, she got lost in its pages, only getting up for more tea or for the toilet, until she lost track of time altogether.

 

A knock at the door brought her back to the present.

 

~~~

 

Alex got off the couch, still clutching the book in her hands. As she walked to the door she continued to read and was only a few sentences away from the end of the paragraph when she opened the door. She read to the end, placed her bookmark in the page and looked up to find Sam staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face.

 

She raised an eyebrow, "You okay, Sam?"

 

"Wow" said Sam, quietly.

 

Alex tilted her head to the side, questioningly.

 

Sam cleared her throat. "Sorry. I... I didn't know you wore glasses."

 

"Oh." Alex went to take them off, but Sam put out her arm.

 

"Keep them on. You look good in glasses."

 

Alex laughed, "Okay... um, thank you." She stepped to the side, so Sam could enter.

 

"What are you reading?" asked Sam, walking into the apartment and looking at the book, which Alex then held up to let her read the cover... "Ah, more Boston P.D."

 

Alex nodded and closed the apartment door. "Yep. I went to the bookstore. Someone has the Peter May one."

 

"Oh, that’s a shame" replied Sam as she headed for the couch to sit down.

 

Alex shrugged, and settled down next to Sam. "So, what brings you here?"

 

"No particular reason, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I've been so caught up in work, I’ve not been able to see you since the picnic. Thanks again, by the way, it was just what I needed. Except, maybe, the motorbike ride."

 

Alex laughed, "Maybe I’ll change your mind one of these days."

 

"I doubt it" replied Sam.

 

Alex chuckled, "But to answer your question, I'm doing good. I'm alright."

 

Sam nodded and absentmindedly let her eyes wander around the apartment. She noticed subtle changes since she'd last been there; a photograph missing here, a trinket moved there. Her eyes lingered on the handmade drinks’ cabinet. "How are you doing without all your whiskey bottles?"

 

"I still want to know where they are. And why you left one. But I don't think you'll tell me?"

 

Sam looked at Alex, who was smiling slightly and had one eyebrow raised. "I'm selling them at an auction."

 

Alex’s eyes widened, "What?"

 

Sam chuckled. "I'm kidding, Alex, they're safe."

 

"You're evil, Sam Arias. Evil" stated Alex, nudging Sam’s arm playfully.

 

Sam shook her head. "No, I’m not... The one I left was your favourite, right?"

 

Alex nodded, "It was."

 

Sam got up from the couch and walked to the drinks’ cabinet, crouching down and opening it, pulling out the lone whiskey bottle. "Oh. Looks like you haven't touched it at all."

 

Alex frowned, "Did you doubt me?"

 

Sam placed the whiskey bottle back on the shelf and stood up, turning back to Alex. "No. I think you could do anything you set your mind to. I thought you might have had some. I mean, you can control your drinking. I think you just took too much when things got hard, or to lessen your thoughts or feelings. It doesn't mean you have to stop touching the stuff altogether. I’ve been thinking actually, I think it was stress drinking."

 

Alex nodded in thought, "That would make sense... I've had the odd beer, but no whiskey. In fairness, I’ve not had anything to knock me off course. I've been managing pretty well. And it's been a while. So..."

 

"I'm really proud of you, Alex."

 

Alex gave her a small smile, "Something in your look tells me you didn't just come over here to ask about my drinks cabinet, Sam. What are you actually here for? Sit down..." she patted the couch next to her, but Sam did not move.

 

Sam sighed, "I kind of have something to tell you. Well, there's something I probably should talk to you about... I wanted to make sure it wouldn't tip anything over the edge, but I think we're in a better place now, both of us. But I’m still not sure."

 

Alex frowned, "Okay, that made no sense. Is something wrong with Ruby?"

 

"Oh god no. No, she's fine. It's nothing like that."

 

"Sam?" asked Alex, quietly. "You're kinda freaking me out a little bit."

 

Sam looked at Alex, "Why don't you wear glasses much?"

 

Alex raised an eyebrow. "That's what's bothering you?"

 

Sam fidgeted with her hands, "No. I'm just asking. They really suit you."

 

"At work I use contacts for safety reasons, I wouldn't want my glasses to get smashed up. But at times they can start to irritate me so when I'm at home, I'll take them out and wear the glasses instead."

 

 

Sam nodded, and let out a long exhale. "We've been spending a lot of time together, you and me."

 

"Well, less lately, but I guess so, yeah?"

 

Sam turned and walked a few steps towards the door.

 

"Are you fed up with me or something?" asked Alex, an attempt at humour masking the concern she felt inside. When Sam didn't respond she stood up and took a few steps towards Sam. "Sam, talk to me. What's going on?"

 

Sam turned to face Alex, before looking downwards and exhaling.

 

"It's just me, Sam" explained Alex, concern obvious in her expression.

 

Sam lifted her head to look at her, "We've gotten close, right? I'm pretty sure it's not all in my head. And that feeling has just been getting stronger and stronger, but..." She sighed, and decided actions spoke louder than words. She studied Alex's spectacled face, before walking forward and taking Alex's face in her hands, kissing her softly before pulling away and turning from Alex again. "What am I doing?" she questioned quietly.

 

Alex's eyes widened in surprise and she tried to gather her thoughts. Sam just kissed her. Sam liked her. She wanted to go to Sam, to kiss her again, to express how she felt but cautiously she held back. She took one step towards Sam but at that, Sam walked to the door and opened it.

 

"Sam, please don't leave. You've done nothing wrong. Can we talk about this? Don't lock me out!" blurted Alex, finally coming to her senses and walking to the door.

 

"I'm so sorry, Alex" was the quiet reply she heard as she watched Sam leave her apartment and walk to the lift, which was at that moment opening onto her floor, so Sam entered the lift and pressed the button for the ground floor.

 

"Sam?" questioned Alex, as she watched the doors close in front of her.

 

~~~

 

Alex paced her apartment, trying to decide what to do. She heard a car reversing outside and driving off and was almost sure it was the sound of Sam's car. Her eyes fell on the drinks' cabinet; Sam had left it open and her favourite whiskey was sitting there. The amber liquor looked like liquid gold... Alex recalled the calming impact it had when her head was full of thoughts, how the first sip would fill her veins with warmth, with comfort, how the thoughts in her head quietened when she drank.

 

Alex shook her head and forced her mind back to the present, wondering where Sam could have gone. There were only two places she could think of. The book exchange, or Sam's house.

 

Alex took off her glasses, grabbed her keys and helmet, locked her apartment and headed down to her bike, where she pulled on her helmet and drove off in the direction of the book exchange.

 

As she neared the location, she could see a figure sitting on the bench where they first met. Despite it being a little dark, she could identify the figure as Sam.

 

She cut the engine and kicked out the stand, before taking off her helmet and walking to the bench. Sam was leaning over with her head in her hands, her shoulders were shaking slightly, and she appeared to be crying.

 

"Excuse me, miss?" said Alex, using the first words Sam had said to her when it’d been her sitting on the bench that cold night that seemed like so long ago.

 

Sam let out a small laugh at that, but it was a while before she looked at Alex. After what seemed like ages, she lifted her head and said one sentence before looking downwards again, avoiding Alex's gaze. "Forget what just happened, Alex. I'm sorry."

 

"Why do you keep apologising? Can you at least look at me?" replied Alex, irritated that Sam was avoiding her.

 

When Sam didn't respond for a while, Alex tried a different approach. "Stand up, Sam" she said, her voice losing some of the softness she'd used previously.

 

Sam looked at her then, "What?"

 

"Stand up."

 

Sam reluctantly stood up, and Alex put her hand out, lifting Sam's chin so that she was facing her, so that she was looking at her. She looked deep into Sam's eyes, but all she could see looking back at her was someone lost and confused.

 

"Was it a mistake?"

 

Sam's eyes look sharper. "It was bad timing. I only expected to talk to you. But then you opened the door in those glasses. I've always had a thing for glasses. And I forgot what I was planning to say. I messed it all up."

 

"Was it a mistake?" Alex asked again, removing her hand from Sam's face.

 

Sam shook her head. "I like you, Alex. I think I have since we met. It terrifies me. I haven't dated since Ruby was so small and I don't want to hurt her. And I didn't want to do anything because you were going through a breakup, and other stuff. But I can't ignore how I feel anymore, not when I started to sense that maybe it wasn’t one sided? That’s the only reason I decided to act on it. But maybe I read you wrong."

 

Alex didn’t reply. She waited for Sam to finish.

 

"I've always had to take care of myself, you know, and I guess I was just afraid that if I let you in... let myself feel vulnerable, I would completely fall apart. And that's exactly what's happening. I don't know what I’ll do if you don't want to talk to me again."

 

"Sam, stop." Alex cupped Sam's face in her hands. She looked into Sam's eyes again, before leaning in and kissing her softly, slowly, until Sam knew she had nothing to worry about. Until she knew that Alex wasn't going anywhere.

 

When she pulled away, she rested her forehead on Sam's. "We'll take it slow, okay?"

 

Sam nodded, and let out a sigh. "What will I tell Ruby?"

 

Alex laughed and took a step back, reaching out and taking Sam's hands in her own, "Something tells me she'll be fine with it."

 

Sam looked at her, frowning, but with a sparkle in her eyes.

 

Alex wrinkled her nose, "She told me once that I could date you."

 

Sam laughed, "What?"

 

Alex looked down at their joint hands and rubbed her thumbs over Sam's soft skin. "I asked Ruby about whether she missed not having a father and she said no, and that you'd tried dating for a while, and she wanted you to be happy. And then she said she thought you liked me. That maybe I could date you."

 

"She told you I liked you?"

 

Alex returned her attention to Sam and nodded.

 

"So, you knew?"

 

Alex tilted her head, "No… I didn't. I hoped, but..."

 

Sam said nothing, she just looked at Alex and concentrated on her breathing. "You do like me, right? It’s definitely not one sided?"

 

"Oh, I like you. I wouldn’t have kissed you otherwise, would I?" replied a smiling Alex.

 

Sam laughed softly.

 

"Come back to mine?"

 

Sam nodded. "I'll take the car, you take your bike."

 

"Deal."

 

~~~

 

They walked hand in hand to Sam's car, where Alex gave Sam a kiss on the cheek before they parted, and she walked to her bike. Sam drove away, and Alex followed before they were separated at traffic lights.

 

When Alex arrived at her apartment, Sam was already parked and waiting for her. Alex took Sam's hand and they walked to her apartment.

 

"The last time you were here, you ran away" stated Alex, once they were inside.

 

Sam laughed, "Sorry about that. It wasn't my finest moment."

 

Alex shook her head, "It's fine. I wondered… for about two seconds… whether it was a test. Trying to do something to make me want to drink and see if I could stop myself."

 

"Wow, Alex, no, that would be… I would never do that" stated Sam, walking to Alex and taking her hands.

 

Alex nodded, "You know why I used to drink so much? My mind sometimes got too full. It's like a hurricane. And whisky calmed it down. It gave me comfort and helped me slow it all down. Now, I can see that in a way… all it did was delay what I had to do in the end anyway."

 

She let go of Sam's hands and walked to the cabinet where the whisky bottle still sat. She lifted it up and opened the lid, raising it to her nose to smell the liquid inside. The strength of the smell after not drinking for weeks surprised her. She closed the lid again and put it down, closing the cupboard door and walking to the couch to sit. Sam sat down next to her.

 

"After Maggie, I'd sit here some nights, and I'd sometimes think about you, as more than a friend. And that scared the crap out of me. The thought that I could be thinking about moving on. But also, that I had found you, I had this new friendship and I was scared me falling for you could destroy it. But then Ruby suggested maybe you felt something for me too, and that made it a little less scary somehow, and when you told me you liked girls and guys I kinda freaked out a bit, but I still didn't dare to think you liked me like that."

 

She looked at Sam and shrugged. "And here we are... Stress drinking or not, the end result probably stays the same. It doesn't actually help anything in the long run does it? It's just temporary relief. I guess lately I've been realising that."

 

Sam nodded. "You're amazing, Alex."

 

Alex shook her head, dismissively. "We can tell Ruby together. But for now, let it just be us. Tonight. Stay here. Ruby's at Lena's. Stay with me?"

 

Sam nodded, before leaning into Alex, who put an arm around her and pulled her close to her side.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Alex woke up, momentarily surprised to find her face buried in brown hair and her nose against a neck. She moved her head back to observe Sam’s sleeping face and smiled. She was wrapped around Sam with her arm underneath her body; she slowly pulled it free and untangled herself. Sam moaned softly and blinked her eyes open.

 

"Morning" greeted Alex, with a sheepish grin. "Sorry if I woke you."

 

"Hi" replied Sam, sleepily, still blinking to wake herself up.

 

Alex placed her index finger at the top of Sam’s nose and ran it downwards, causing Sam to smile. Sam's hair was spread out on the pillow and her eyes were sleepy, and Alex wasn't sure she'd ever seen her look so beautiful.

 

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

 

"Kind of like I’m dreaming... also, each time we wake up together you seem to be wrapped around me. I guess you're a cuddler, but I’m not complaining, I like it. I hope for more mornings like this."

 

Alex placed her hand on Sam's cheek and Sam reached her hand up to hold Alex's arm. "I get a bit cuddly I guess, sometimes. Maybe it's from when I used to calm Kara down when she was younger; she couldn't sleep much, and she would come into my bed and I'd hold her close until she slept. So, I'd like to blame Kara."

 

Sam smiled, shaking her head. "There's no need to try and pass blame, Alex. Your badass reputation is still very much intact. What happens in private, stays in private. Honestly, I'm starting to think there's an Alex Danvers in there that's just a big marshmallow."

 

"My secret is out" replied Alex, with a smile.

 

"Do you know what? That's my favourite Alex. When you let your guard down and relax, when there's nothing for you to worry about and you're just content."

 

"I feel content with you, Sam. And you should soak it up, because not a lot of people get to see it" Alex teased, kissing Sam on the nose.

 

"I’m honoured to be on that list" replied Sam, leaning forward and kissing Alex. "So, Lena was going to drop Ruby off at school today. If you were free tonight, maybe we should talk to her?"

 

Alex bit her gum in thought, "Okay."

 

"Yeah?"

 

Alex nodded. "Yeah... We could meet at the park after work?"

 

"Sounds good."

 

"Do you have time to stay here a bit longer?" asked Alex.

 

"I really should get over to mine and dress for work" replied Sam. "But I don’t want to, your bed is actually really comfy."  
  


"And here I thought it was me you wanted to stay for."

 

"Oh, it is" confirmed Sam, caressing Alex’s cheek. "The comfy bed is just a bonus."

 

 

"...Sam?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"I know this is out of the blue, and ridiculous timing, but, where do you stand in terms of me wanting kids? Is that something you want. Because if it’s not, then I think I need to know before we get too deep into this. I mean, you have Ruby, and she's amazing, but if I want more?"

 

Alex watched Sam exhale deeply and turn over to lie on her back. "Okay. Let me get up and we can talk about this while I have breakfast."

 

"Oh."  
  
"No, Alex, it’s not bad. I just need to get out of bed or I’ll never want to go to work. Lena doesn’t like people who arrive late. And yeah, she might be my friend, but I don’t want to use that to my benefit."

 

Alex swallowed, and nodded, before Sam got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

 

~~~

 

After she lay for a while running through the possible outcomes in her head, Alex sighed and pulled herself out of bed, going to the kitchen where she made some breakfast, then waited for Sam to join her.

 

Sam waited until mid-way through eating before she gave Alex the reply she’d been waiting for. "Alex, I've came into this relationship knowing your goals for the future. If I wasn't interested in that, I don't know if I’d have taken the leap, because like I say, Ruby and I are a package deal and I need to protect her. I wouldn't have come into this if I thought it would end in her being hurt. In anyone being hurt... I'll admit, Ruby wasn't planned, and I didn't see her in my future, but she is, and I wouldn't change that for the world. And I would like you in my future..." She reached out and took Alex's hand. "I've never met anyone like you, I care about you a lot, Ruby adores you, and I think you should get to experience that bond you get with your child when you become a mother. So yeah, I am aware of how the future might look with you, and I’m okay with that. Having a little Alex running around the place? I can't imagine what that'd be like, but I’d like to know. As long as Ruby would be okay with it too. She has to be okay with everything that's going to change our family unit."

 

Alex nodded, "Okay. So that's not a no, then?"

 

Sam laughed, "No. It's not a no. Let's just tell Ruby about the two of us first, before you bring up babies. Deal?"

 

"Okay. I can deal with that."

 

"Good. Now, I better be going. I'll text you later and we'll meet at the park?"

 

Alex nodded, walking Sam to the door and kissing her goodbye.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Alex walked through the park, her hands in her pockets and her head downwards, thinking. She raised her head and observed her surroundings, smiling when she spotted Sam standing with her back to her. Ruby was in the distance, playing with her soccer ball.

 

She approached Sam, and put an arm around her waist, "Hi" she greeted softly into Sam’s ear.

 

Sam turned, "Hey" she replied, smiling.

 

"So, if Ruby is over there, can I risk kissing you?"

 

Sam's smile grew wider, and she leaned in, sharing a kiss with Alex.

 

"How was your day?"

 

"Fine. Yours?" replied Alex, trying to stop herself from grinning so much.

 

"Fine" Sam replied, beaming.

 

Alex laughed lightly, and let her arm fall from Sam’s waist as she spotted Ruby turn around, noticing her. She picked up her ball and walked towards them.

 

"Hey, Alex."

 

"Hey, Ruby. Practicing for the next game?"

  
"Kinda. But it’s better if I have others to practice with. I was just messing around with the ball."

 

Alex nodded, "How’s science class?"

 

"Great."

 

"Any more crazy tests coming up?"

 

"Nope. Not for a while anyway."

 

Sam cleared her throat, she wanted to just get this over with. "So, Ruby, I asked Alex to meet us here because there’s something we wanted to tell you."

 

Ruby smiled, "Okay."

 

"The thing is... Alex and I, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and we wondered how you would feel about us being more than friends?"

 

Ruby frowned and looked from Sam to Alex and back again. "Like Girlfriends?"

 

Sam momentarily glanced at Alex, "Yeah. Like girlfriends."

 

Ruby nodded, "Hmm."

 

Alex raised an eyebrow, "Hmm?"

 

"I don’t know" replied Ruby.

 

Alex and Sam looked at each other, stunned, then looked at Ruby, who was attempting to stop a smile from growing. When she couldn't hold back anymore, she broke into a grin, "I’m kidding. I've wanted you to date for ages!"

 

Sam's eyes widened in shock, "You’re okay with it?"

 

"I’m totally okay with it."

 

They both leaned down to Ruby’s level and wrapped their arms around her.

 

 

"You have such an amazing daughter, Sam."

 

"I know, she's amazing, isn't she?"

 

"Stop it, you two. Can someone kick this soccer ball about with me? It's kinda boring by myself."

 

They laughed. "Sure can, kiddo" replied Alex, and they all ended up on the grass with Ruby, taking turns kicking the soccer ball to each other.

 

 

Alex excused herself when her phone chimed with an incoming text message. It was from Kara, suggesting they meet up. Either just themselves or perhaps another movie night.

 

Alex pursed her lips to the side in thought, "Ruby?" she called.

 

Sam and Ruby stopped kicking the ball, as Ruby looked to Alex, "Yeah?"

 

"Would you like to see that _Charlie and the chocolate factory_ movie now?" she asked, turning to look at Ruby and Sam.

 

Ruby nodded, and Sam looked confused.

 

"Kara texted, wanting to catch up" Alex explained to Sam, "Either with just me, or another movie night. I was thinking how Ruby didn't get to watch the film she chose last time. And if we were all there, maybe we could tell Kara and Lena about us?"

 

Sam smiled widely as she and Ruby walked to Alex, "Sure."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah. I mean, I guess it's easier to just get it out there" replied Sam, taking Alex's hand in her own. "When?"

 

Alex shrugged.

 

"We could have it at my place," suggested Sam. "Kara could bring the DVD with her, and if I know Lena, she'll bring a bunch of snacks. And wine. Oh wait, will that be okay?"

 

Alex smiled, "I can drink a glass of wine or two, Sam. And I’ll stop then. I'm pretty strong, remember."

 

"Damn right. I kinda want to pinch myself sometimes, I didn't think I’d get another chance at romance. Let alone with someone like you."

 

"Oh, come on, Sam. It's just me" replied Alex, squeezing Sam's hand. "I'll text Kara, and ask if she's free just now? Is today too soon?"

 

Sam turned to Ruby, "What do you say, baby, do you fancy a movie with Kara and Lena?"

 

Ruby nodded, "Definitely."

 

"It's a school night though so it'll be homework, movie, then bed" clarified Sam.

 

Ruby nodded, retrieving her ball before they all walked out of the park.

 

Alex texted Kara and received an almost instant confirmation that she and Lena would come over to Sam's a bit later with the movie.

 

~~~

 

Alex opened the door when the doorbell rang, to be greeted by a smiling Kara holding up the DVD. Alex returned the smile and gave her sister a hug, before she stepped aside to let her in.

 

"Lena will be here soon, she's buying some snacks or something" said Kara as she walked past Alex and into the apartment.

 

Alex nodded, "Ruby is doing her homework in her room, Sam's helping her."

 

"You seem to be around here a lot lately, spending a lot of time with them both" observed Kara, taking a seat on the couch.

 

Alex nodded, "Yeah. About that… I have something to tell you."

 

Kara smiled, as Alex sat down beside her. "So, you know that Sam and Ruby have been helping me after Maggie, and also with my... drinking problem. Well, somewhere amongst all that, Sam and I kinda fell for each other. And uh, we're dating now."

 

Kara smiled, hugging Alex. "Oh my god, Alex. You guys are gonna make a great couple."

 

"Thanks" replied Alex. "You don't seem terribly surprised."

 

Kara smiled, "I think everyone knew except you and Sam."

 

"What? No."

 

Kara nodded, "Oh come on Alex, you know you're useless at seeing what's in front of you when it comes to romance."

 

"Hey, that's not fair" replied Alex, with a frown.

 

Kara giggled, "Did she tell you where we put your whiskey?"

 

Alex pulled a face, "No. But I know you let her in to empty the cabinet."

 

"I'm so proud of you" replied Kara, interrupted by Sam and Ruby walking from the bedroom.

 

"Hey, Kara" greeted Sam.

 

"Hi" replied Kara, turning around to greet them both. Ruby walked up to her and gave her a hug. Kara passed the DVD to her and Ruby took it, eagerly reading the back of the cover.

 

Sam looked from Kara to Alex, seeing Kara smiling widely and Alex looking somewhat unimpressed.

 

"Did Alex tell you?"

 

"Oh, apparently everyone knew before we did" said Alex grumpily, looking at Sam.

 

"Oh?" she replied, looking at Kara and then Ruby.

 

"Hmm" said Alex, just as the door rang.

 

"I suppose she knows too?" Sam asked, indicating to the door.

 

Kara nodded, getting up and walking to the door. "I'm afraid so. I think she was the first to notice." She opened the door and greeted Lena with a hug before taking a bunch of shopping bags from her. They both walked towards the kitchen, putting the shopping down on the worktop.

 

"Hey guys" greeted Lena, "So, I have wine and snacks. And juice for Ruby."

 

Kara helped Lena to unpack the items and place the snacks in bowls on the coffee table. They put wine glasses out and the wine for everyone to help themselves. Once everyone had a beverage and a seat, Ruby pressed play on the remote.

 

Lena noticed Sam sitting next to Alex, the latter with her arm draped over Sam’s shoulder. "Finally got together then?" she asked, laughing at the looks she got from them.

 

"They're unimpressed we all figured it out before they did" stated Kara, smiling when Alex narrowed her eyes.

 

Lena chuckled. "Well done Sam. These Danvers's girls, they're alright."

 

Kara nudged Lena with her elbow, "Hey. I'm more than just alright."

 

"Of course you are, sweetie" replied Lena.

 

The movie started, and the talking died down. Alex kept glancing at Ruby throughout the movie to see her reaction to specific parts. She smiled contently, beaming at Sam when she caught her watching her daughter. It was then that Alex realised she was happy once more. She glanced at Kara who was watching her, and they shared a smile.

 

Sam leaned into Alex more and held her hand, before Alex kissed Sam's hair and rested her head lightly on Sam's. She felt so content she was almost sleeping when the film ended.

 

Ruby had loved it, but thought the book was better. She was sleepy, so Sam sent her to bed, so she would be ready for school the next day. After hugging everyone good night she went to bed.

 

~~~

 

"Ruby's birthday is coming up soon" stated Lena.

 

Sam nodded, "Next week."

 

"We should have a gathering of some of her friends, she liked that when we did it a few years back."

 

"I don't know if we have enough time to organise that, sending out invitations and everything. Last time we used your place."

 

"And we can use my place this time too. I've actually bought some decorations already. I just hadn't had the time to discuss it with you. And we live in a digital age, Sam. Ruby can text her friends, we don't need invitations."

 

Kara sniggered, and her eyes widened when everyone glared at her. "Wow, sorry, I thought that was funny." She turned to Sam. "Sam, we can all help organise this. There should be plenty of time."

 

Alex nodded.

 

Lena looked at them, "So, what I was thinking was an after school gathering of Ruby's friends. We could either take them somewhere, like an adventure park, or we could do games in the house. Then at night, she can have a celebration with us, and some cake and we can give her gifts etcetera."

 

Kara grinned at her, "You have it all mapped out already."

 

Lena raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side. "I'm nothing if not professional, Kara."

 

Kara smiled again, shaking her head. "I actually had an idea."

 

Everyone turned to her.

 

"There's the soft play centre that opened recently. They have areas for all ages, and there are trampolines too, and platforms with foam weapons, and I know she's getting older now, but I think she'd love it. I'd like to hire it, as my gift to her. If it's okay with you, of course, Sam."

 

Sam grinned, "It sounds fantastic."

 

"Great! I'll hire it later. I actually took the day off work, so I could go too" she said, blushing, as everyone laughed.

 

"You're such a kid, Kara" teased Alex.

 

"How many friends do you think are likely to be there?" interrupted Lena.

 

They discussed the specifics and Kara promised to get onto it the next morning.

 

Sam told them she would get Ruby to ask her friends if they were free after school on her birthday and check that Ruby was into the idea. Lena would set up her house for entertainment with Ruby and the adults later that day. Lena would order a cake and sort out rooms so that they could all stay over. Luck had it that Ruby's birthday was a Friday, so everyone would be available the next day and would be able to stay late and sleep over.

 

After planning it all, it was late, and Kara and Lena said their goodbyes. After they'd gone, Sam put on some pyjamas while Alex cleared up a little.

 

Once the apartment was tidied, Alex was going to go back to her flat, but Sam asked her to stay.

 

"I'm going to have to bring some clothes over at this rate. I feel like I’m here more than my own place."

 

Sam frowned, "Oh. It was just a suggestion. You can go home if you want, there’s no pressure."

 

Alex raised an eyebrow and walked to Sam, "I never said I was complaining." She kissed Sam, leading her backwards, before picking Sam up. Sam wrapped her legs around Alex's waist and she carried her to the bedroom, closing the door with her foot.

 

"Ruby's next door" whispered Sam.

 

"I know" replied Alex, lowering Sam onto the bed and placing soft kisses to her lips, her neck, anywhere she could find bare skin.

 

"Alex..."

 

She smiled, placed a lingering kiss to Sam's lips and lay beside her. "You're just so beautiful."

 

She placed one last kiss on Sam's shoulder, "Can I borrow a pair of pyjamas or do I have to sleep naked?"

 

Sam laughed. "Of course, you can, Alex, they're in the drawer under the TV."

 

Alex got off the bed and walked to the drawer, grabbing the first pair she came to before walking to the bathroom, where she got ready for bed before climbing in behind Sam and curling up against her back.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Ruby walked out of her bedroom to find Sam in the living area, and Alex in the kitchen making pancakes.

 

"Happy birthday, baby" greeted Sam, holding her arms out so a smiling Ruby could walk into them.

 

"Thanks, mom" replied Ruby while giving her mother a hug.

 

"Happy birthday, Ruby" said Alex, flipping a pancake in the air.

 

Ruby let go of her mother and walked to Alex, wrapping her arms around her. "Thanks, Alex. You're making me pancakes?"

 

"Sure am. But these are no ordinary pancakes. They're heart shaped."

 

"Why?" asked Ruby.

 

"Because, young lady, it is your birthday and we love you."

 

Ruby grinned.

 

"Are you excited about the soft play?"

 

Ruby's eyes lit up, "Yeah. It's gonna be so amazing. Everyone's looking forward to it."

 

Sam walked over to join them, "Then at night we'll go to Lena's. You, me, Alex and Kara."

 

Ruby nodded, "It's gonna be so awesome, mom. Thank you."

 

"Hey, I didn't do it on my own. But you're welcome."

 

"You've got a lot of people who love you, kiddo" stated Alex, and she and Ruby shared a smile, before Alex put the pancakes on plates and served them to everyone.

 

They sat at the table eating and talking. When they were done, Sam gathered the dishes so that she could wash them.

 

"I'm gonna have to love you and leave you guys, I have work" said Alex. She walked round to Ruby and placed a kiss on her head, "Happy birthday, kiddo, I'll see you later. Have fun at the soft play, I'll be wanting to hear all about it tonight." She turned to Sam, "See you tonight, babe."

 

Sam turned around and gave her a smile, before walking her to the door and sharing a kiss. After she'd watched her go, she returned to washing the dishes before she had to get Ruby ready for school.

 

~~~

 

After work, Alex went home to shower and change. She'd put on her glasses as the contacts had been irritating her again.

 

Kara drove Alex to Lena's as her present was too large to transport on a motorbike (Kara had offered to fly it but Alex had refused). She had bought Ruby a selection of books she had enjoyed reading whilst growing up, at various reading levels. She's packaged them all in an antique style wooden trunk she'd bought at a fair. It reminded her of something you might see in Hogwarts. She hoped Ruby would love it as much as she thought she was going to. As an extra, she'd added an F.B.I. t-shirt at the bottom of the trunk.

 

They'd arrived at Lena's a few hours before Sam was due to bring Ruby over. They checked the decorations and put the finishing touches in place. Lena wanted to capture the day for Sam as she knew she had a scrapbook where she recorded events in Ruby's life. She took photos of the massive cake she'd bought, and photos of Kara and Alex putting up the decorations.

 

When Sam sent a text to Lena that they were there, they put the lights off and hid, shouting "Surprise!" when Ruby and Sam entered the house.

 

Sam flicked the lights on and Ruby gasped at the decorations and the size of her smile made it all worthwhile. "Oh my god you guys, this is amazing!"

 

Lena snapped a photo of Ruby, with Sam beaming in the background.

 

"Oh my god, look at the cake!" said Ruby, running to it to get a better look.  
  


Kara laughed, "It looks amazing, right?"

 

"Yes!"

 

"How was soft play? Did you have fun?" asked Lena.

 

"So much fun. They have trampolines, and we were fighting on these platforms with foam swords, and there was a ball pit. It was brilliant, and Kara ended up fighting on the platforms with us."

 

Alex laughed, and leaned close to Kara. "Gently I hope?"

 

"Of course" replied Kara, giving her a playful punch.

 

Alex grinned, "And now you get to have fun with the rest of us and open these presents." She indicated the presents sitting near the couch.

 

"Oh wow" replied Ruby, eagerly running to the gifts and looking through the name tags.

 

Everyone gathered round and watched Ruby look through them, trying to guess what was in them. She picked up a rectangle one and looked at her mother, smiling. "You got it?" she asked.

 

Sam smiled, "Open it."

 

Ruby ripped into the wrapping and found the iPad she'd asked for to do her homework on. Sam had bought her the pencil and keyboard attachment too, along with a case that you could clip the keyboard onto. "Oh, thanks mom, this is gonna be so great for school projects."

 

"Your welcome, baby."

 

Ruby grabbed the next one, which was quite small. She looked at the name tag to find it was from Kara. She looked up, "But you already got me the soft play."

 

Kara smiled, "I know, but I wanted to get something else too. Something you could keep."

 

Ruby opened it to find a Supergirl figure. "Oh wow, it's so cool. Thanks, Kara!"

 

Kara smiled in return, sharing a look with Alex.

 

The next was the longest present. Lena's. Ruby ripped the packaging to find a telescope. Her eyes lit up, "Wow!"

 

Lena smiled, "Do you like it?"

 

"I love it!" replied Ruby, before she looked at Alex, "Can you help me build it?"

 

"Sure can" replied Alex, smiling.

 

The next present was very heavy. Ruby ripped off the paper, "Wow. It's a treasure chest!"

 

"Open it" encouraged Alex.

 

Ruby unlocked the chest and opened it, smiling at the books inside. "Oh my god." She picked up some of the books and looked at the covers, before spotting the navy fabric at the bottom. She pulled it out to see the F.B.I. letters in yellow. She laughed and held it up to herself. "Oh, this is so cool."

 

"All of the books are favourites of mine. There's something there for now, and others you won't read until you're older. I've tied them in bundles and labelled the different age groups when you should read them. So, it should keep you going for years. I hope you like them."

 

Ruby smiled, "Thanks so much, Alex."

 

Alex grinned. "Don't mention it, kiddo."

 

Ruby got up and hugged each of them, thanking them again for the gifts. Sam stood on and watched, smiling widely. "Thank you, you guys."

  
Alex held up her phone and took a photo of Sam, as she looked at everyone with so much love in her eyes. Sam caught her, and grinned, going to Alex and kissing her. "I don't know who's more excited, Ruby or me."

 

Alex laughed.

 

~~~

 

After they had ate some cake and played some games, Alex sat down beside the wide glass window with Ruby, reading the instructions on the telescope and helping Ruby to build it.

 

Sam was sitting on the floor, drinking a glass of wine and looking through the books that Alex had bought.

 

Kara and Lena were putting the wrapping paper in the bin and tidying the place up a bit.

 

After she'd completed the telescope, Alex left Ruby to play around with it and stood looking out of the window at the night sky.

 

She heard a small noise which brought her out of her thoughts and into the present. She looked round to find Sam watching her, her phone in her hand.

 

Alex frowned, "Did you just take my photo?"

 

Sam gave a sheepish grin and nodded, "I love you in glasses."

 

Alex grinned and put her hand out, indicating for Sam to walk to her.

 

Sam walked over and wrapped an arm around Alex's waist.

 

"Give me your phone, you crazy woman" teased Alex, taking Sam’s phone from her and opening the camera. She picked it up, taking a selfie of them.

 

"There, now you have two. Plus all the ones Lena has taken."

 

She kissed Sam, before they turned and looked at Ruby playing with her telescope and Kara and Lena, who were now looking through the books. Kara was excitedly telling Lena about the books she recognised, and Lena was attempting to tell Kara about some of the science ones.

 

"Ruby's had a good day, huh?"

 

"I think she's loved it. It might actually be her best birthday ever. Thanks so much for your gift by the way, she’s gonna love those books. It was really thoughtful of you."

 

"You don’t have to thank me, Sam. I love that kid" Alex replied, kissing Sam and pulling her closer. They watched Kara and Lena go over to Ruby, where they helped her to find planets and identify what she could see from the window. Eventually Sam and Alex joined them and everyone took turns looking at the night sky before retiring to bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the birthday ideas (Supergirl, Telescope, Tablet) were from gabriellemalkav87 so thanks for that. Also I'd like to thank those of you who are still with me on this little journey, there's two more chapters to go.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in listening to music whilst reading this chapter, may I suggest Broods - Bedroom Door, which I listened to a lot when writing this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tPQVUFZrU0

Sam passed the envelope to Alex and watched as she opened it. She unfolded the paper and frowned, before reading aloud. "L-Corp requests the pleasure of your company at the annual charity gala. Saturday, the tenth of... Sam, why are you showing me this?"

 

She smiled nervously, "Because it says plus-one. I wondered if you would like to be my plus-one? Normally I go alone, but this year I actually have someone to take. But if you're not keen it's totally fine."

 

Alex looked at the invite again, "It's only a few days away."

 

"I know. I put the envelope away when I got it, like I usually do, and when I actually opened it to read it, everything was pretty hectic and... you know what, there's no excuse. I should have given you more notice. I've left it too late" said Sam, apologetically.

 

Alex shook her head dismissively, "What about Ruby, who'd look after her?"

 

"I've already arranged it. She'll stay with a friend and I'll pick her up Sunday afternoon."

 

"Hmm" said Alex, her lips to the side in thought, "It's only a few blocks from my apartment. You could stay over if you want. And I guess I'm gonna have to buy a dress."

 

Sam smiled, "So you'll come?"

 

"Of course I'll come." She wrapped her arms around Sam's waist and pulled her close. "What are you gonna wear?"

 

"A cream trouser suit."

 

Alex raised an eyebrow, "Oh, a suit huh?"

 

Sam nodded, running her hands down Alex's back. "I usually wear a dress, but this year I thought, fuck it, I want to wear a suit. It's tailored. It looks good, I think."

 

"Oh, I think you'd look amazing in a suit."

 

"I can't wait to see you in your dress. I'll be the luckiest girl there, with you on my arm."

 

Alex grinned, before she leaned in and kissed Sam.

 

~~~

 

Alex had chosen a cream dress to match the colour of Sam's suit. She ran her hands down her sides, straightening the fabric of the dress as she checked her appearance in the mirror. The doorbell rang and she let out a sigh, had a final glance to check she looked okay and walked through to the door, opening it to find Sam.

 

"Wow" she whispered, taking in the sight of Sam in a tailored cream trouser suit, white shirt and cream tie. Her hair was down and in that loose wave that Alex loved, and her hands were in her pockets.

 

"Not bad then, huh?" asked Sam, smiling.

 

Alex shook her head, "You look... wow."

 

Sam let out a small laugh and took her hands out her pockets. "And you look beautiful."

 

Alex raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Thank you. Now come here so I can kiss you."

 

Sam smiled, entering Alex's apartment and taking her in her arms. Alex pulled gently on her tie to bring her even closer before wrapping her arms around Sam.

 

"Hey! Don't wrinkle my suit, I have to represent L-Corp alongside Lena."

 

Alex reluctantly let her go and Sam took her hand. "Ready?"

 

Alex nodded, "Ready."

 

As the gala was not far away, they chose to walk there so they didn't have to bother about parking, and they could have a few drinks. They held hands all the way, stealing glances at one another and smiling when their eyes met. When they reached the steps, Alex lifted their joint hands and placed a soft kiss on Sam's knuckles.

 

Once inside, Sam introduced Alex to a few people, before they found Lena and her plus-one, Kara. Sam waved to Lena before they walked over to them.

 

"Look at you both, dressing in the same colours" teased Lena.

 

Kara gave Lena a nudge, "You guys look great. Can I take your photo?"

 

Alex pulled Sam close to her and they both smiled for Kara as she took a photo, before Alex borrowed the phone and took a photo of Kara and Lena together. Lena was wearing a form-fitting black dress and Kara a blue one.

 

~~~

 

Throughout the night, there would be times where Sam would get engrossed in business chat and Kara was at Lena's side, leaving Alex alone. She sometimes entertained herself by getting some food and champagne (not too much champagne).

 

She was standing in a doorway out of sight, looking at some artwork, when she glanced Sam walk past. She reached out, grabbed Sam's hand, and in one swift movement had her pressed against the wall.

 

Sam gasped in surprise but settled as soon as she caught sight of Alex. She laughed, "Smooth."

 

Alex moved her hands from Sam's hips to the wall, trapping Sam. "I missed you."

 

"Did you now?" teased Sam, wrapping her arms around Alex's neck and pulling her in for a kiss, her hands playing with Alex's hair. Sam eventually pulled away, letting out a laugh and pressing her forehead against Alex's. "We're acting like horny teenagers."

 

"I can't help it. Do you know how beautiful you are? And I get to kiss you. I mean..."

 

She was interrupted by Sam's lips on hers again. One soft gentle kiss. "We should get back in there. There's only a few more hours to go."

 

Alex sighed, "Fine. But can we be together for the rest of it?"

 

Sam took her hand and led them back into the room, where they got something to eat and were joined by Lena and Kara. Sam looked apologetic as she and Lena started talking business. Alex chatted to Kara before going for a glass of champagne. She returned to Sam and handed over the beverage, earning a smile. She wrapped an arm around Sam's waist and placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

 

"You guys are all over each other tonight" observed Lena with a smile.

 

"Sorry" said Sam, causing Lena to raise an eyebrow.

 

"God, Sam, I'm not asking you to apologise. It's so nice to see you this happy. You too, Alex." She looked to the dance-floor where some of the guests were dancing. A slow song just started up. "Have you had a dance yet?"

 

Sam shook her head before she turned to Alex. "Want to dance, babe?"

 

Alex nodded, "I'd love to dance with you."

 

Sam grinned, and led Alex to the dance-floor where they shared a slow dance. Before long, the gala was wrapping up and Sam went to Lena's side to thank the guests for coming and see them away, before she returned to Alex.

 

"Come on, let's go home."

 

They held hands and walked back to Alex's apartment, high on love and champagne.

 

As soon as Alex closed the apartment door, Sam had her pressed against it, kissing her lips, her neck. "You look so hot in that dress, but I really wanna take it off."

 

Alex laughed, "Only if I can take your suit off." She slid Sam's suit jacket over her shoulders and it fell to the floor. She paused, "You know, Sam, the thing with suits is that women look unbelievably sexy in them, especially tailored ones. But when it comes to taking them off? It takes ages." Alex took hold of Sam's tie, "You see this tie, you want to keep it good so you take it off slow. Untying it all, like this, and then maybe you want to roll it up, to keep it neat?" She raised an eyebrow, starting to roll up the narrow end of the tie.

 

Sam raised an eyebrow, "Don't you dare stand there and roll up that damn tie, Alex."

 

Alex smirked, "Is that a threat, Sam? What will you do?"

 

Sam grinned, and took the tie from Alex's hands. "You'll never find out." She tossed the tie to the ground and undid her cuff buttons.

 

"No, that'll not do. Let me see that shirt." Alex started slowly unbuttoning the buttons from top to bottom, placing light kisses to Sam's skin. She let the shirt fall to the floor, and when she did she realised they were both still in heels. "Actually, maybe we best get these heels off?"

 

Sam nodded, and by the time Alex had bent down in her form-fitting dress and undid the straps of her shoes, and slid them off, Sam had already removed her shoes, and her pants, and was standing in her underwear.

 

Alex ran her eyes down Sam's body, and pointed to the pants lying on the floor. "That's cheating. We can't have that."

 

Sam grinned mischievously, "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do to me?"

 

Alex raised an eyebrow and walked to Sam. "What am I going to do to you for cheating? Nothing, except maybe have you make me breakfast in the morning. What am I going to do to you right now?" She smirked, "Oh, I will do anything you want me to."

 

Sam swallowed, "Anything?"

 

"Anything."

 

Sam blushed as she reached past Alex and slid down the zipper of her dress, pulling it off Alex's shoulders, down her body and onto the floor.

 

Alex stepped over the dress and wrapped her arms around Sam, lifting her up. Sam wrapped her legs around Alex's waist and was carried the short distance to the bedroom before Alex lay her gently on the bed. She looked into Sam's eyes and ran her fingers lightly down her cheek, before tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Sam?"

 

Sam looked lovingly back at her, "What's wrong?"

 

Alex shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I just... I love you."

 

Sam reached up and pulled Alex down to her, giving her a passionate kiss, before unclasping her bra and rolling her over.

 

 

~~~

 

Alex woke up to find Sam awake and watching her.

 

"Morning."

 

"Hi" smiled Alex.

 

They lay together, content, before Sam kissed Alex. "I love you too, by the way."

 

Alex grinned. "Really?"

 

"Oh yeah" replied Sam. "Can I make you breakfast now?... because I'm starving."

 

Alex looked down, "Are you going to cook in the nude?" she asked, a cheeky glint in her eyes.

 

Sam laughed, "No. I was hoping to steal one of your t-shirts or something."

 

"Shame" replied Alex, before kissing Sam. She pointed to where Sam could find some clothes to wear, and stretched out in bed while Sam got up, pulled out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and left to go to the kitchen.

 

A short time later, Alex got out of bed too, slipped into a t-shirt and pants before tidying the clothes from the floor and joining Sam in the kitchen, where she was making eggs. Alex put a hand on Sam's waist and used her other hand to pull Sam's t-shirt over her shoulder. She placed a trail of kisses and nips from Sam's shoulder to her neck.

 

Sam tilted her head to the side, her breath hitching when Alex licked her earlobe. "Alex, I'm gonna burn your breakfast if you keep this up." She glanced around to see Alex pouting, and let out a small laugh at the sight. "Let me dish this up. Please."

 

Alex nodded and went to sit at the kitchen counter. Sam dished out breakfast and placed the plates on the counter, along with some coffee.

 

"You look hot in my clothes, do you know that?" asked Alex.

 

Sam grinned, shaking her head. "Eat your breakfast, Alex. You're doing the washing up by the way."

 

Alex nodded, "Of course."

 

They ate breakfast, before Alex filled the sink to wash the dishes. She emptied the cafetière and cleaned the leftovers into the bin before she began washing. When she was midway through, Sam came up behind her and lifted up the bottom of Alex's t-shirt, sliding her hands underneath and around Alex's waist. She placed kisses on Alex's neck, letting her hands wander slowly up Alex's soft skin.

 

When Alex put the last dish on the drainer, she turned around to face Sam, and Sam pulled her closer, capturing her lips in a slow kiss.

 

"What do you say we go back to the bedroom?" she asked between kisses.

 

Alex nodded, "Sounds good."

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter and is set in the future. How far in the future I will leave up to you. To all of you who have joined me on this journey, thank you. I hope you have enjoyed it.

Sam and Alex walked through the park hand in hand, before taking a seat on a bench. They watched Ruby and her friend play soccer on the grass.

 

"The adoption agency called."

 

"Yeah?" asked Sam.

 

Alex nodded, "Just to confirm the appointment time. I can’t believe we get to meet her next week."

 

Sam grinned. "We’re gonna have a baby."

 

Alex laughed. "By the time we bring her home, we should have all the boxes in our new house unpacked."

 

"Hopefully" replied Sam. "I’m fed up looking for things to wear out of boxes."

 

"We'll have to make it clean and safe for her. Maybe we should get Kara to help?"

 

Sam nodded, "I'm sure she would do anything for her niece."

 

"She’s so excited she’s going to be an aunt, isn’t she?" said Alex, beaming. "She can’t wait."

 

Alex took the photo out of her wallet and they looked down at it, "Little Charlotte."

 

"Little Charlie Danvers" said Sam.

 

"Danvers-Arias" corrected Alex, as she leaned over to kiss Sam. Shelooked at Ruby and her friend playing soccer and smiled, "I read a quote the other day, _All limitations are self-imposed_... It’s true isn’t it? When I look back on my life, I see all the limitations I was putting on myself. And then I found out what it was like to be truly happy, and to me, that was massive. I felt so free. More myself than I’d been my whole life. And now… now there’s you, there’s Ruby, there’s little Charlie. I’m gonna teach her so many things. I want her to live a whole life, you know? I want her to be able to do anything she wants... to be anything she wants."  
  
Sam rested her arm on the bench behind Alex and reached up, absentmindedly playing with Alex's hair. "She will, Alex. She’ll have the most amazing life. You’re going to be the best mom. You’re amazing with Ruby. And I’m so happy to be here with you. You’re allthe things I never expected to have. I love you. Every part of you. Every strength and every flaw. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. The way everyone else sees you."

 

Alex laughed, and turned to look at Sam, who dropped her hand from Alex's hair.

 

"You know, Ruby told me the other day how she's going to give Charlie books from her treasure chest when she's older."

 

Alex grinned, "Really?"

 

Sam nodded, "She's really excited to be there for her, and give her advice, and that sort of thing."

 

Alex smiled, and rested her head on Sam's shoulder. "I got lucky, didn't I?"

 

Sam put her hand around Alex and pulled her closer, "I think I'm the lucky one, Alex. Who’d have thought when we met that night at the book exchange that we’d come this far?"

 

Alex chuckled, "I don't think either of us expected this would happen, huh?"

 

Sam smiled, "I guess the universe has some weird ways of working, but I'm really glad it brought us together."

 

"Me too" replied Alex.

 

~~~

 

Alex cradled the tiny bundle in her arms, and stared back at the tiny head sticking out of the blue onesie. "Hey, baby girl" she greeted softly.

 

Sam put an arm around Alex and looked down at Charlie; her huge brown eyes stared at her.

 

Ruby had a grey elephant soft toy in her hand. "Charlie, I bought this for you with my pocket money. He's gonna look after you when you sleep."

 

Sam smiled at Ruby.

 

"You have to give him a name" said Alex.

 

Ruby looked at the elephant for a little while. "Felix."

 

Alex nodded, "It's a good name." She looked down at Charlie. "What do you think, Charlie? Do you like Felix?"

 

Alex knelt down so Charlie was level with Ruby, and Ruby held the elephant up to her eye level. Charlie looked around and smiled, bouncing her arms up and down. Everyone grinned back at her.

 

"I think she likes it" said Sam.

 

"Do you know that elephants symbolise power and strength?" asked Alex.

 

Ruby nodded, as Charlie reached out to her. She held out her index finger and Charlie wrapped her little hand around it.

 

"I think she likes you, baby" said Sam.

 

Charlie let out a gurgle and Sam grinned. "Do you know that the name Felix stems from Latin, and it means lucky, and successful?"

 

Alex shook her head, and glanced at Charlie. "Do you see this Charlie? Look at the brains you're going to grow up around. You're going to be a genius aren't you?"

 

Sam laughed, "She's gonna be whatever she wants to be."

 

Alex nodded, "Let's get her home, huh?" She bounced Charlie slightly in her arms. "You have two eager aunts to meet."

 

Sam drove them home, and Kara and Lena were waiting for them in their new house, all the boxes now unpacked and the place child friendly.

 

~~~

 

As everyone fussed over Charlie, Sam went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea for everyone. She filled the kettle and clicked the switch, and took out some mugs. While the kettle boiled, she walked to the doorframe and watched the others in the living area. Alex was seated on the couch, watching as Charlie was passed around from Kara, to Lena, to Ruby. Sam watched Alex and studied her expression.

 

"Alex?"

 

She turned around and got up, walking to the doorway and following Sam into the kitchen. "Yeah?"

 

"How are you doing right now?"

 

Alex raised her eyebrows, "I'm fine."

 

Sam tilted her head, "Do you want to try that again?"

 

Alex sighed. "Honestly?"

 

"Of course, babe. I can sense when you're starting to freak out. I know you. And I know how scary it can be to be responsible for a tiny baby."

 

Alex glanced to the doorway, "Okay, yeah, I'm pretty overwhelmed right now... I have so much love for that little bundle through there I feel like I could explode. And she's counting on me, what if I'm not a good mother?"

 

Sam walked over to Alex, putting her hands on Alex's shoulders to ground her. "Can you imagine doing that as a teenager, and completely alone?"

 

"God no" replied Alex.

 

Sam let out a small laugh. "Well I managed it, didn't I? I know what it feels like to look down at a tiny baby and feel weight of the world responsible. If I could do it alone, the both of us sure as hell can do it together. And we're not alone, Alex. Far from it. Come here..."

 

She took Alex's hand and walked her to the doorway, where they observed their happy family. Kara was sitting on the couch holding Charlie and talking to her. Ruby was kneeling in front of the couch and they were both pulling faces at Charlie, making her giggle. Lena was sitting next to Kara, her arm around her shoulder, laughing.

 

Sam turned to Alex, "Look at all the love she has around her, all that support. She's going to have a great life. I can feel it. She's got the best parents, the best sister, the best aunts. Don't you think?"

 

Alex smiled and turned to look at Sam. "Thank you. I don't know how you do it, but you always know how to calm me down. I love you so much."

 

Sam smiled and kissed Alex, "I love you too. And you've took all that time off work, so you'll get to have all the firsts with her. And I'll likely be stuck in meetings, so you better record them all! Her first word, her first crawl, first walk, first everything. But for now, how about you help me make the tea and we go back through to our daughters?"

 

Alex nodded, and they made the tea and brought it through, sitting down with their family. Ruby was singing to Charlie, and Kara was joining in at the chorus, while Lena laughed and recorded it on her phone. Alex and Sam sat hugging each other and drinking their tea, content to watch their family have fun.

 

~~~

 

Alex never would have believed that the woman who brought her home from the book exchange would end up meaning so much to her, but she was everything that Alex needed. Their new house felt like home, she loved Sam so much that sometimes it scared her. She loved Ruby to bits, and now she had little Charlie.

 

As she sat in bed next to Sam, her glasses on and reading the eighth Rizzoli and Isles book, she read a section out loud:

 

" _There's that unpredictability factor, that chance that something completely unexpected - something amazing - could happen. That's what makes life an adventure. Sometimes you just have to jump in and trust the universe_."

 

The universe had brought her Sam, and Ruby, and as a family they had brought Charlie into their world, and she trusted them all with her life. She placed a bookmark in the book, and sat it on the bedside table, before removing her glasses, and sitting them on top of the book.

 

She turned around to her wife with a smile, and kissed her goodnight, before they curled up together and she turned out the light.

 

"Goodnight, Sam."

 

"Night, Alex."

 

She nuzzled into Sam's neck and smiled as she fell asleep.

 

 


End file.
